Kali's Heart

New Location

2012-01-25T20:32:00.000-05:00

Kali had a bit of a mix up and accidentally made a second blog. She's so excited about having made a blog all her own that she wants to keep that one and is getting rid of this one. In a week I'll be deleting this blog. Her new blog can be located Here. In a few days I'll have this page automatically take you there.

Drama Party

2011-06-14T19:48:00.002-04:00

Chapter 5. If this ever gets confusing (if anyone actually reads this, which I don't believe anyone does), please comment on here saying so. Either that or comment on facebook saying that, even message me if you want. There are still a lot of things that I would change about this story. This is more the rough copy than the fully accomplished one. I mean, the copy of this story on paper is even more of a rough copy. This is to see what I need to work on, other than the mistakes in grammar, which I know I make all the time. I can't help those mistakes. But as I said before, this is more of a rough draft. Of course, even when I am 'finished' I will probably still want to change a lot. So, thanks for reading my jibber jabber. So, read, comment, ENJOY, and try to ignore my comments.

It was just hours away from the party. I was excited. I wanted to be with Logan. I couldn't wait to go with him and finally get over Ethan. I changed into a purple shirt and a nice, sort of short jean skirt. I put on some flip flops and smiled at what I was wearing. I actually looked nice. When I thought about it, Logan has never seen me in a skirt. I was always wearing jeans. I went downstairs and ran into Ethan. I waved at him and he smiled, slightly, and said,

"You look great, where are you off to?"

"I was heading out to see Aunt Riley and Laura, then going to a party with an old friend."

"Who?"

"My old boyfriend, Logan."
Ethan's face filled with shock and disappointment. That made me sad, a little, and also wonder why he always did that.

"Oh...can I come?" Ethan asked, hopefully.

I hesitated but said,

"If you want. It'll give you a chance to meet some people here."

I suddenly had a thought of him finding some other girl and making out with her. That made me sort of upset, yet I shook the thought. He nodded and came with me to Aunt Riley's. I couldn't help but keep staring at him when he played with Laura. It was so cute. I quickly looked away when he looked up. While I was talking with Aunt Riley, I kept thinking. Mostly about the party. It was going to be a disaster.

A while later, we left my aunt's. Uncle Ty came home from work and let me and Ethan go. Ethan and I walked to the party in silence. I kept thinking of Logan and what he would think of Ethan. Finally, we made it to the store. Tons of people were there. I even saw Gwen and Brice. I gave them a quick wave as I went in farther. I thought I lost Ethan but he was still close behind. The music was loud, so I dragged Ethan to a sort of quiet corner and said,

"Why don't you go meet new people?"

"Okay, I want to meet Logan."

"Come on Ethan, you don't want to meet him."

"Why? Because he's a jerk?"

"He's not a jerk, he's a nice guy."

"Then why can't I meet him?"

"Why do you WANT to meet him?"

He looked at me, a bit worried.

"I don't want you to get hurt again." he said.

"Why is everyone so worried about me getting hurt?! You're the ones hurting me!"

I walked away from him while I felt my eyes burn. I bumped into someone and looked up.

"Sorry." I said looking in those blue eyes I knew so well.

"It's okay. Are you okay?"

As soon as he asked, the tears came down. He dragged me upstairs to a room I didn't even know was there. The room was more like an apartment. I walked in and looked around. Logan hugged me and I cried into his chest.

"No one is succeeding at NOT hurting me." I said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm in love with my best friend but he loves my best girl friend, Gwen. Gwen's moved on and is happily in love while I sit back and cry. My parents are still fighting, even though they are an ocean apart and I...I am falling to pieces."

I cried harder as I knew that I told Logan something that would keep him away. He said sweetly,

"I love you and I won't hurt you."

At that, I kissed him. It felt good but bad all at the same time. I kissed him with passion that came from nowhere. As if I forced it. I started to tug on his shirt. I felt a slight grin form on my face when I tugged. He smiled and pulled off his shirt. I kissed him more and lead him to the bed. I thought about the night with Ethan which through me off a little. I tried to brush it off but this feeling was too familiar. I kept going, though. I wanted more even if my mind was somewhere else with Ethan. I started to pull my shirt off and grin as he kissed my neck. This felt completely bad, but I STILL didn't stop. He put one hand on my hip and one lead to my pants button. He started to unbutton and I smiled. Then, my pants were off and he pulled his off too. He kept kissing lower and lower. I pulled away and he looked at me. Finally, my thoughts beat me.

"I'm not ready."

I was shocked by what I said because I did still want more. Sadly, my mind was set on that night with Ethan when he was drunk. The feeling was too familiar. I couldn't think about Ethan while I was with Logan. I got up and put my clothes back on. He changed and pulled me close. I smiled and kissed him softly. It still felt wrong, somehow. We kept kissing, though, when the door flew open.

"GET OFF OF HER!"

It was Ethan and he was extremely angry. Ethan came in and pushed Logan against the wall.

"Stop! Ethan, STOP!"

I was able to pull Ethan off of Logan. Ethan looked at him and said,

"By the way, some girl named Julie is looking for you."

Logan's face went into shock as he looked at me. Ethan walked out. We were silent, then I mumbled,

"Who's Julie?"

"A friend." he said with a shaky voice.

"Really? She doesn't seem like just a friend."

"What does it matter?"

"After what we ALMOST did, it matters! You say you won't hurt me but look! You're hurting me right now!"

"Claire I do love you..."

"Then prove it."

Now I was starting to get confusing. I didn't even understand myself.

"If you really cared, there wouldn't be someone else." I said thinking of whoever the girl was who's name was Julie.

"What about Ethan? I almost got punched in the face by a guy I don't even know!"

"That wasn't my fault! He did it, not me!"

"He obviously has feelings for you!"

"No he doesn't!"

Logan looked at me and said loudly,

"Then why did he just try to pound my face in?!"

I felt tears come down my face. Finally, he stopped yelling and stared at the ground. Still not looking, he said, as calm as he could,

"Maybe we just shouldn't try this again."

"What, why?" I cried harder.

"We have changed, so much. We are NOT the same people we were two summers ago."

I wiped my tears away and thought. He didn't seem that different. Not that I could tell, anyway.

"Are you trying to say I have changed?"

"Yes, but not in a bad way."

Then, I lost it.

"How did I change exactly?! Huh?! Just because I'm not all over you like I was before doesn't mean I changed! It means I grew up! When we were dating, I hid this part of me away because I didn't want to ruin it all! I never really forgot about Ethan! I always loved him!"

I put my hand over my mouth. I couldn't believe I just said that. I thought that maybe I was at least partially over Ethan; I definitely wasn't. Logan looked at me and his eyes were full of hurt and disappointment. I said,

"I'm sorry."

I couldn't think of anything else to say. Logan came closer and pulled me into a hug. I was shocked but it made sense when he whispered,

"I hope we can be friends."

I cried harder at that word 'friends'. Every time I cared about a guy, they always seemed to end up just my friend. Logan kissed my head and walked out. I followed him and went back down to the party. He joined the party, I left. I walked home by myself and let myself cry all the way there. I walked into the front door of my house and started for the kitchen. I stopped in the living room and saw a horrible sight. My mom was making out with some guy on the couch.

"Mom?!"

She pulled away and sort of yelled, in shock,

"Claire?! I-I wasn't expecting you home so early!"

When I looked at the guy, he didn't look familiar.

"Who's this?" I said in disgust.

"Uh...well...this is...Eric."

I didn't understand why I was so angry about this but I was. I went up to my room and slammed the door. A little while later, I heard knocking on the door.

"Leave me alone!"

"Come on, Claire, let me in!

"No!" I yelled.

My mother was very persistent but so was I.

"You're not a little kid anymore; we have to talk about this!"

"Later. I just want to be alone!"

I heard a loud sigh and her footsteps down the stairs. I cried into my pillow and looked around. I didn't want to be here. I walked over to my window, opened it, and climbed out. I had done this many times. I had learned to climb out without hurting myself. I got to the ground and ran to my spot. This felt so familiar after the many years of running away. I ran faster and faster as my eyes started to burn from crying. As soon as I got there, I crashed to the ground. I laid there, staring up at the sky. There was a stary sky so I counted the stars. Tears streamed down my face as I made a wish on star one hundred. I whispered out loud,

"I wish I could just be happy."

I closed my eyes and kept thinking of that wish. Then, my mind turned to Ethan. I loved him. I still cared about him. He stilled cared about Gwen. I was always going to be his friend; always just friends. No matter what, Ethan was my best friend. I couldn't feel that way anymore. I sat up and wiped my tears away. I knew what I had to do.

The next day I went to the grocery store. Mom tried to talk to me but I said I was going to the store. I had already slept in because I got home late so I wasn't in the mood. I got to the store and didn't know what to buy. So, I decided on a bottle of pop and some chips. When I was checking out, I realized how empty the store was. This store was never that empty. I asked the cashier,

"Where is everyone?"

"Probably at the carnival in the park today."

She seemed very irritated; I'm guessing she was mad that she was at the store while everyone else was at the carnival. I felt bad so I just said,

"Thanks, bye."

I grabbed my stuff and left. I went to the house and dropped off the stuff. Mom tried talking to me again but I just asked,

"Where's Ethan?"

"Uh..oh, he took Laura to the fair."

He was spending more time with my family than I was. I quickly said bye, again, and walked out the door. I ran for the park and saw it was flooded with people. There were mini rides all around and food, drink, and game stands. I started in and slowly walked around looking for Laura and Ethan. Then I remembered Laura telling me last summer that she always wanted to ride the ferris wheel. I ran for the ferris wheel and saw them about to get in line. I ran up to them and said, out of breath,

"Can I-come on-with you guys?"

"Yes! I was hoping you came!" Laura shouted and practically tackled me with a hug.

Ethan stood there watching with a smile. I was still sort of hurt and angry about last night so I quickly looked away. We got on the ferris wheel and Laura sat between us. Laura didn't seem scared, just excited. She smiled up at me and then looked forward. The ride was quiet until it stopped at the top. Laura said,

"Look! The sky looks so pretty!"

Ethan and I looked up at the sky and I smiled slightly. I kept looking at the sky, pointing out clouds that looked like animals to Laura. Then Laura looked towards Ethan and asked,

"Do you think the sky looks pretty?"

Ethan looked at the sky and nodded at Laura. Then his gaze fell on me. He looked me straight in the eyes and said,

"Yes, the sky looks beautiful today."

I wondered why he looked at me. I wondered if he was still talking about the sky. I looked away from him and blushed. Why was he doing this again? He was pulling me in again just to push me away, again. We started to move again and went around once again. We got off and started walking around. Laura rode a few more rides while Ethan and I watched. Every time we would walk next to each other, our hands would brush against each and I would feel tingles go through me. I shook the feeling. We grabbed something to eat and took a seat by the small stage. We waited for a performance when someone came up onstage. It was Logan. He must have booked the entertainment. He said,

"Hey everyone! Time for you all to step up to the stage and sing and dance your heart out! Our first people up area group called...Don't Breathe."

An all girl rock band came up and started to play. They were amazing! They were playing a cover. We listened to a few other people and then Logan came back up onstage.

"Anybody else want to go?"

Everyone in the crowd looked around and so did I. Part of me wanted to go, but I was sure I wouldn't be good. I looked directly at Logan who got a smirk on his face and came towards me. I looked over at Ethan who was already angry. Logan came to me and said,

"How about you?"

I shook my head no but he grabbed my hand and pulled me up. I tried to pull away but it didn't work. When I looked back, Ethan was furious but Laura was smiling at me and cheering me on.

The Choice

2011-06-10T19:58:00.000-04:00

Chapter 4

I went home that night and immediately had to tell someone. After the whole Ethan thing I couldn't tell my mom. So, I grabbed my phone and was about to dial Gwen's number when someone knocked on my door. Before thinking, I lightly yelled for them to come in. Should have guessed it was Ethan.

"Why are you ignoring me?" Ethan asked.

Ethan seemed angry yet sad. I couldn't really answer him. I was a little shocked because my mind was traveling. My mind was set on Saturday. It seemed rude of me to not answer but I didn't care at this point.

"Why?!" he started to yell.

"You made me angry; I am sorry for having feelings." I said coldly.

"I realize you have feelings but why are you angry?"

"Oh, isn't it obvious?!"

He looked at me, confused. I was taken back a bit but still said,

"Okay, when you figure it out, come see me."

He was silent and still confused.

"One more thing; don't wait to long." I whispered softly.

I wasn't sure he heard that last sentence. Those words were more for me. I left him and headed for the kitchen. Before I entered, I heard my mom yelling on the phone.

"Yes Edward, she is safe! Why wouldn't she be?! You know, I can take care of OUR daughter! Just let me have one last GOOD summer with her!"

She hung up and slammed the phone down. I hated when they fought.

"Why can't you two just get along?" I said suddenly as I walked in.
I must have startled her a little because she jumped. I leaned against the door frame (okay, I was just at the doorway) and gave her a sad, angry look. I just saw the tears running down her face.

"I don't need this from you too."

"I am sorry, mom, but I hate hearing this all the time. Sometimes you guys start arguments about nothing. You guys are my parents! If you can't be together, could you at least be friends?!"

"I don't know! I really don't know..." she trailed off.

"Or do you do know and don't want to tell?" I said with a little bright side to the mood.

She grinned slightly through her tears. I went closer to her and sat beside her. I said quietly,

"Why is it so hard for you guys?"

She whispered through her tears,

"We fell out of love."

I didn't really understand and I don't think she did either. I hugged her and said,

"You guys may not be IN love anymore, but you will always love each other."
I smiled at her and she hugged me. I left her feeling a bit better. I walked out the door and went straight to Gwen's. Her aunt opened the door and so did Gwen's ten year old cousin, Lucas. Of course, I already knew them because I used to watch Lucas.

"Hi Mrs. West--"

"Claire, you should know to call me Sofia." she smiled and hugged me.

She motioned me in and showed me where Gwen was. I headed down the hall and to the study. I heard her voice and started to grab the handle of the door. Then I heard a man's voice, I knew who's it was.

"Look, you came here to explore and be with your friends, NOT to be with some guy! Your father would never approve." the man said.

"My father has no power in my love life! Neither do you! You guys can't pick my guy for me! You pick some poor bloke who will always love someone else and expect us to be together!" Gwen yelled back.

"He is a fine gentlemen and at least he listens to his parents!"

"The only reason he listens to them is because they said they would take away his money for college. Plus, he hates to disappoint his parents. My parents and his parents have had these plans since forever. Why can't you just lay off?!"

I knocked before I could hear anything else. The door opened to Gwen's face. She was relieved and still kind of angry all at the same time.

"Claire, nice to see you." she said, relief filling her voice.

I waved to Norris as Gwen quietly said to him,

"We'll be up in my room, Uncle Norris."

We walked upstairs and went to her room. As soon as we got in there and shut the door, she asked,

"You heard our fight, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Look, I would've told you all that but I thought it would just eventually come out. Plus, it was better for you not to get involved."

"First, just tell me who this guy is that you met!" I said excitedly trying to get her happy.

"His name is Brice. I met him a few days ago. He's so nice and sweet."

"What about the other guy? I am still fuzzy on him."

"Well, when we met, our parents practically put us together. I mean, I did like him and he liked me, in like middle school, but it was just a little crush. We didn't really like each other. I still have feelings for him but more like friendly or sisterly feelings. He only keeps this whole charade up for his parents. He is trying to keep it up until college but he fell in love a long time ago."

"Wow, who is he?"

"Uh...a friend from London. You wouldn't know him." she said quickly.

I brushed that off and remembered why I was there.

"Quick change on the subject: I think I want to try again with my old boyfriend, Logan."

She quickly thought and said,

"Okay, but what about Ethan?"

"Ethan? I have waited to long for him. If he felt something, he would've done something by now."

She looked a bit confused but said with a sigh,

"Alright, good for you. You should do whatever your heart is telling you to do."

Gwen seemed excited but at the same time, disappointed. I didn't understand why and suddenly asked, to change the subject,

"So, tell me more about Brice."

Her face lit up and she said,
"Well he's a bit taller than me, has beautiful golden brown eyes and has shaggy brown hair. He lives here and just came back from a trip with his friends. When I was walking the other day, the day in the park, I had just left him and spotted you."

I sort of stared at her in thought. Everything she was describing sounded familiar. So, I asked,

"What's his last name?"

"Uh Dougal, why?"

I jumped up excitedly and sat back down with a grin.

"Brice has been sneaking around with you! I was wondering why he wasn't there that day I went to Uncle Ty's! I didn't want to ask Uncle Ty and be rude."

"What are you talking about?" Gwen asked completely confused.

"Brice, Brice Dougal, he's my cousin."

"I had no idea."

"It's no big deal, I don't care I just wondered where he was that day."

"Oh I didn't know, at all."

"Is it a bad thing that he's my cousin?" I asked wondering why she kept repeating herself.

"No...no...he just left that part out."

"Well, is that bad?"

"I guess not, but I mentioned you and he didn't say anything."

"We're not super close, we're just close enough."

"Oh okay."

She still didn't seem completely understanding everything. To lighten the mood I said,

"Do you want to come to a party with me on Saturday? You can invite Brice."

She smiled lightly at me.

"Where?" she asked.

"Music store, downtown; if you meet me at my house, I'll show you where. Of course, I think Brice knows the place."

"Maybe, I don't know yet."

"Alright, that's good enough for me."

I got up and hugged her. Then I asked,

"Are you sure I don't know that one guy? I might if you tell me his name."

"No, you never met him before." her voice cracked.

Her voice always cracked when she was lying but I didn't want to bug her about it. So, I said,

"Well then..." I couldn't figure out what to say.

"He's a nice guy, I just don't feel that way for him. He's in love with someone else anyway. Though, he would never admit it. He still hasn't seen that he loves her a lot. He feels like we have to be together, you know for his parents. He doesn't like to let his family down. He is pretty persistent."

"Sounds like this guy has got to let go. He needs to grow up; his parents can't control him forever."

"Maybe so but he acts like they can. I know he doesn't love me. I see the way he looks at that girl."

"Well, he'll eventually come to his senses."

gave her another hug and left. I felt sad for her but I was happy. I was finally moving on from Ethan. That made me happy. Still, I had one thought that kept bugging me. Who was that other guy?

Second Chances

2011-06-06T19:32:00.002-04:00

Chapter 3

It had been about a week since I had came back home, to Pennsylvania. I had hung out with my mom, Gwen and Ethan (reluctantly), and Uncle Ty and Aunt Riley. Today, I was watching Laura. Ethan was hanging out with Gwen. So surprising. Not. Laura was playing with her toys when she suddenly asked,
"Where's Ethan?"
"Uh, out."
"Awe..." she continued with her toys, a little sad.
I was a bit confused. She never seemed disappointed before about Ethan.
"Laura, why are you disappointed that Ethan isn't here?"
"Well, he came and played with me yesterday, I was hoping he would play with me again."
"Wait, he was with you yesterday?"
"Yes." she looked at me, then went back to her toys again.
I thought for a second. He said that he went to see Gwen yesterday. Was he lying? I told Laura to get her jacket, we were going for a walk. I took her to the park and let her play. Suddenly, Ethan came out of nowhere.
"Ethan!" Laura jumped for joy.
"Ethan?" I questioned.
Ethan sort of just looked at me. I guessed that he figured that I found out. He went over to Laura, gave her a hug, and started playing with her. I was a little shocked, at first, then I started to smile. When he saw me looking, he started to blush. I had never seen him blush before. Finally, they were done playing and we took Laura home. Ethan held her because she was falling asleep.
"Wow, you're really good with her."
"Well, she's my new little buddy."
I smiled at him and sort of just looked at him, a little bit curiously. Then I said,
"I didn't know Gwen was living with my aunt and uncle. I was almost positive she was staying with HER aunt and uncle." I said sarcastically.
I eyed him as he stared forward. Finally, he said,
"I was curious."
"About what?"
"I was curious about what college you were going to. So, instead of going to Gwen's, I went to your uncle and aunt's house. Sadly, they were in a hurry and needed a babysitter. For some reason, they couldn't get a hold of you."
I remembered that my phone kept acting up yesterday.
"Well, isn't that great! Look, you'll eventually find out where I am going! Why are you so impatient?!" I whispered loudly.
Laura stirred a little but stayed asleep. We got to her house and let Uncle Ty take her. We left and started back home. I was extremely irritated. How could he go around me like that?
"Claire?"
Ethan grabbed my hand and stopped me. Tingles went down my arm. I hated feeling like that when I wanted to be mad at him.
"What do you want?"
"Please don't be angry."
"Why shouldn't I be angry?! You totally went around me and didn't even ask! Why do you care so much where I will go? It's no big--"
"Deal? NO BIG DEAL?! It is a VERY big deal! I don't want to lose you!"
"You won't lose me! And what does it matter if you do, huh? You have Gwen! I am starting to think more and more that you're just here for her!"
"I'm not here for her! I am here for you!"
"Whatever you say! I don't care anymore! You're not worth it!"
I turned away and walked faster. He followed me and yelled,
"Worth what?"
I stopped dead in my tracks. I realized I let something slip. I whispered,
"Nothing."
He walked in front of me and faced me. He came closer and closer until we were practically nose to nose. He said lightly,
"Worth what?"
His voice was deep but calm. Tears were streaming down my face as I looked into his bright green eyes. He wiped my tears away softly.
"I don't know." I said.
I thought if I said that, he would pull away. He didn't, though. So, knowing what was going to happen next, I pulled away. Ethan looked at me, still in his trance. I simply looked at him and said,
"I'm not going to let you hurt me again."
I turned and walked home. He knew the way so I wasn't worried about him. The tears kept coming.
***
I woke up the next day, got changed, and went down town. I went through each store, remembering the old times I had in each one. I went into the old music store that I remembered the most and started looking through some cds.
When I found a good one, I went to check out. Before I did, something caught my eye. It was a black, six string, acoustic guitar. As soon as I saw it, I wanted it. I picked it up and started to play it. Each cord called out to me. I knew how to play many instruments but the guitar was my favorite. I had taken lessons for many instruments over the summer in that shop. I would secretly practice in my room back in London. The person that taught me to play guitar just happened to be my old boyfriend, Logan.
"You can buy that for $299.99." said a voice from behind.
The voice sounded familiar.
"No, saving up for college." I replied with a slight grin as I turned around and saw Logan.
I wasn't surprised. Logan always had this thing with sneaking up on me. I got used to it after a while. I put the guitar back and started for the counter. He went back and started putting my cd in a bag.
"That'll be thirteen dollars plus a 'hello.'"
"Hello Logan, it's nice to see you." I smiled gently as I paid for my stuff and took the bag.
He gave me his famous, perfect smile and dazzled me with his beautiful blue eyes. His dirty blonde hair was a shaggy mess and he was wearing a t-shirt and capri shorts. I sort of giggled at his shorts.
"What?" he asked as I giggled.
"Nothing."
"Really, what?" he smiled.
His smile always got me.
"I was just remembering the day when it was extremely hot and you were wearing shorts but I was still wearing jeans."
Then, Logan laughed (his laugh even sounded perfect) and said,
"Oh yeah, I told you that you couldn't complain about being hot because it was your choice to wear jeans. Then, you hit me and I grabbed your hand and..." he trailed off as his smiled went down.
"And then we had our first kiss together." I said for him.
He sort of looked hurt but tried to smile.
"I-I should go." I said stuttering a bit.
"I'll come with you, I was just about to go on break."
I awkwardly nodded and stood there for a moment while he grabbed his keys. We walked out the store and he locked it up.
"When did you get the keys for the store?" I asked.
I knew his fathered owned the store but his father never let him have the keys.
"When I graduated. My dad thought I was ready so he gave me the keys and said, 'After college, this place is yours.'"
I was a little shocked but I smiled. We went down the street and got a coffee. We talked a lot about what we have been doing with our lives since we broke up. Two summers ago, we dated. It went on to the end of the summer but I realized I had to end it. Long distance relationships never worked out; not to me, anyways. There was also something else (more like someone else) keeping me from the relationship. We talked a little more when Logan suddenly said,
"I need to ask a question that I have been dying to ask for a while."
"What?"
"Why did we break up? I mean, I know it was because of the long distant thing but it felt like there was something more."
I sort of looked at him. His eyes were so beautiful. I couldn't lie to him but I couldn't tell him the truth. He was the first good boyfriend I had. Collin might have been my first, but he was nowhere near good, he cheated. Logan was a great guy. Part of me still liked him. I couldn't answer him.
"Was there another guy?" he asked looking a bit scared.
"No, not technically." He gave me a look of confusion. "I wasn't with another guy. I had feelings for another guy."
"Oh...who?"
"He's just this guy. I would rather not talk about it. I am trying to get over him."
"Oh..." he said with a sigh.
"Logan, I am sorry. I didn't want to feel that way for another guy. You were such a great boyfriend. You deserve someone who will love you."
I looked away. His blue eyes were piercing me. I didn't want to see him hurt. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my chin. Logan lifted my face to look at him in the eyes.
"You want to come to this party I'm throwing on Saturday? It's going to be at the store and it'll be fun."
"I-I-I d-don't know."
"Come on."
"Uh, no, I can't."
"Why?"
"Because it sounds like your asking me out."
"Maybe I am." he grinned.
"I just told you I was trying to get over a guy and you ask me out? How does that work?"
"It's simple; to forget about this guy, be with me. We can pick up where we left off."
"I don't know."
"Come on, we can try again. Everyone deserves a second chance."
I looked at him, his eyes getting to me. I didn't know what to say. He brought himself closer and kissed me. I almost forgot how great his kisses were. He pulled away right when I was getting into it. He whispered in my ear,
"Think about it."
Logan smiled at me, kissed my head, and walked back to the shop. I got up and ran. I knew exactly where I wanted to go. I ran and ran until I was there. I laid on the grass and closed my eyes. I touched my lips. I did want him, I think.

Welcome Home

2011-06-04T19:51:00.002-04:00

If you haven't guessed by now, the titles are the titles to each chapter. So here's chapter 2. By the way, if anyone has seen Something Borrowed, this story is sorta a lot like it. But, I wrote this before I even knew about the movie so I promise I didn't steal anything.

Ethan and I were on our way to America. I sat on the plane, a little unsure of all this. I soon fell asleep with thoughts swarming through my mind. When I woke up; I had my head on Ethan's shoulder. I looked up and saw his sweet smile. Quickly, I sat up and waited for us to land. We soon landed and got off the plane. At the airport, I kept looking around for my mom. Suddenly, I found a sign that said, 'Claire and Ethan.'
I ran for her and practically tackled her with a hug.
"Claire! I am so happy to see you!"
"I'm happy to see you too! I missed you mom!"
We kept hugging then stopped when Ethan finally came over.
"Hello, Ms. Dougal, nice to finally meet you." he smile shyly.
"Well it's nice to meet you too!"
My mom put her hand out and Ethan shook it. We went to the car and drove home. I was excited and scared all at the same time. Excited to be back; scared of what might just happen.
***
We finally got to the house and Ethan was shocked. He was surprised to see a medium sized house with a huge yard. My dad's place was a mansion, this was just a regular house. I hit him and whispered,,
"I DO have a normal sized house."
"Just a bit shocking, I'm used to the mansion."
"Well, get used to it." I grinned.
Ethan and I walked into the house and I showed him the guest room.
"This is where you'll be staying."
"This is nice." he smiled.
"Not that bad for a regular house?"
"No, not that bad at all."
I smiled and watched him unpack a few things. Then I told him I was going to see my mom. I walked into the kitchen and tackled my mom again.
"Yes honey, I know, you missed me."
"Yes, but you missed me too."
"Only because I had to."
I looked shocked (in a funny, sarcastic way) and said,
"You missed me, for real." I grinned.
"Yes, I did. So, I want to know something."
"What exactly?"
"Why's Ethan here? You only told me he is coming, not why he was coming."
"You know, to spend our last summer together."
"Your college isn't that far from his."
"Yeah, but he wanted to."
"Claire, why are you letting him in again?"
"I am not letting him in again. That was just that one time and he doesn't even remember."
My mom was the only one I told about that one night. She knew exactly how I felt about Ethan. She just didn't want to see me get hurt, again.
"I will be fine mom, you taught me well. If he hurts me, I will take care of it."
She looked at me for a while then looked the other way.
"What?" I asked.
"It's just...you guys don't seem like just friends."
"But we are; we're just friends."
She looked forward and I looked too. There was Ethan standing there, staring back at us.
"Were you listening to us?" my mom asked.
"No, I just got in here." he said quickly.
I sighed with relief. I told my mom we, me and Ethan, were going to go for a walk. I grabbed his hand, quickly, and walked out the door. When we were outside, I asked him,
"You didn't hear anything we were talking about, right?"
"All I heard was you saying, 'We're just friends,' that's it."
"Oh okay."
"What were you guy talking about?"
"Nothing, just nothing."
I realized we were still holding hands. I let go quickly, looked forward, and said,
"Follow me."
I lead the way as he followed. We stopped at the corner because Ethan grabbed my hand again.
"What?" I asked.
"Nothing, just wanted to hold your hand."
I looked at him and I felt my cheeks burn. Part of me wanted to pull my hand away; the other part was screaming don't. So, just this once, I let it go. My face still burned. We made our way, hand in hand, to the house down the rode. I went up to the door and knocked. A little girl opened the door, saw who I was, and hugged me.
"Hi, Laura, I missed you!" I said hugging her back.
I was no longer holding Ethan's hand. Then, the face I knew so well came behind her.
"Aunt Riley!" I yelled and hugged her.
Uncle Ty came up behind her and bear hugged all of us, including Ethan. I laughed at Ethan's shocked face.
"Uncle Ty! I missed you the most!"
I hugged them all again and they brought us in. I was extremely happy to see them all. They led us to the living room and sat down. Laura sat on my lap.
"By the way, Laura, happy belated sixth birthday! Sorry I couldn't get you anything."
"It's alright, your my gift." she hugged me again.
Laura was my little best friend; I loved her so much. She suddenly whispered in my ear,
"Who's that?" she pointed to Ethan.
"That is my friend from London."
"Is he your boyfriend?" she asked much louder, giggling.
I looked over at Ethan and giggled a little too; he looked befuddled.
"No, Laura, we're just friends."
I smiled at her and looked over at Ethan again. He looked a bit shocked. I knew that face; it was the face he got when he figured out something. I was a bit confused as to what he figured out. I just looked back at everyone and started talking. We talked about everything. There was very few topics we didn't cover. Then, Uncle Ty asked,
"So, Claire, what college are you going to?"
I fell completely silent. I felt Ethan's eyes burning through my head. I just looked at Uncle Ty and Aunt Riley. They understood it completely.
"Are you sure?" Aunt Riley said.
"Yes." I said.
Aunt Riley hugged me and whispered in my ear,
"Thank you for following YOUR dream."
Uncle Ty hugged me too. They knew exactly what I meant. Sadly, Ethan was still clueless. Uncle Ty said,
"What about your father?"
"He knows I got accepted to a school but I can't tell him what one. I just can't tell him."
"You have to tell him eventually. If he really cares about you, he will be proud of you."
I smiled and gave them hugs goodbye. I led him across the road and down the hill to the park. He asked, as we were walking,
"So, what school are you going to?"
"I told you, it's a surprise. I can't tell you."
"You told them!" his voice started to raise.
"First of all, they're my family, they need to know. Second of all, technically, I didn't TELL them; they figure it out."
He went silent. He seemed angry, still. So, I went up to him, just a few inches from his face, and whispered,
"We're just friends."
I pulled away and smiled at him. His face stayed forward but his eyes followed me. Then he said quietly,
"I feel like that has happened before."
I stopped and asked him what he meant.
"I mean, what you just did. It felt so familiar."
My heart stopped; did he remember? Did he remember that night?
"You must be imagining things."
He thought about it then said,
"I guess so."
We finally got to the park, in silence. I laid down on the grass and looked up and saw Ethan, standing there staring at me.
"What are you doing?" Ethan asked.
"Laying in the grass."
"Why?"
"Because this is where I would go on a bad day. This spot, right where I am lying. Every summer, this was the spot that made me feel better when I was sad. This spot was the place I went to when had no other place to go."
"This is your happy place." Ethan smiled.
"Yes, this is my happy place."
He sat down beside me then laid there with me. He was closer to me then he was before on my bed; I didn't think that was possible. We both looked at each other. I felt myself wanting to kiss him. He started to bring his head closer when suddenly someone said,
"Claire?"
The voice was familiar. I looked up and saw Gwen staring at me and Ethan with a slight grin. I looked at Ethan, he looked a bit disappointed but looked at Gwen and pulled away from me, and said,
"Gwen, it's so nice to see you."
I felt my heart get stomped on again as I stood up and put on a fake smile.
"Gwen, I am surprised to see you." I said quietly.
"I was looking around and found a sight that caught my eye."
Gwen winked at me and smiled at both of us. She said,
"I should go, it is getting late."
At first, Ethan didn't notice, then he shouted,
"No!"
"Really, I should; I told my aunt I would be home soon. We'll hang out tomorrow."
I smiled, slightly, and said,
"Alright, we'll hang out tomorrow."
Ethan looked disappointed, in a way but different then he looked when Gwen first came. Like he was forcing himself to feel disappointed. I pondered as I watched Gwen leave.
"Why did you let her leave?!" Ethan yelled angrily, yet still unsure.
"She said she needed to go, what's the big deal?"
He seemed angry in a way I have never seen. It all seem like some kind of act. He still yelled,
"We need to be together!"
He realized what he said and immediately became quiet. He seemed extremely sad after he said it. I felt hurt.
"Do you mean all three of us, or just you two?" I asked angrily.
He didn't answer, he just stared. We went home, in silence. I looked over at Ethan once but I didn't see his face. He had his head hanging in disappointment. When we got home, I went to hang out with my mom for a little while. Ethan eventually came down from upstairs and asked me where Gwen was staying and I told him. He called her and went out of the door. My mom looked at me,, then asked,
"Why didn't you go with him?"
I looked at her and felt the tears wanting to come out.
"They need to be together."
My mom kissed me on the for head and hugged me. Finally, I cried.

Moving On?

2011-06-03T22:24:00.001-04:00

The first part was more of an intro into the story; an explanation. Here's chapter one to Sweet Sunshine.

It was the day after graduation and I was moving all over my room, grabbing things, folding them, and shoving them in bags. I was getting ready to spend the summer with my mom. For once, I was a little excited to go because I was flying there without my dad. Dad always came with me, told me bye, talked to mom (more like fought), and went back to London. This time I got the plane ride all to myself. As I was packing, Ethan was sitting on my bed, trying to talk me out of going, again. He did this every summer. He always wanted me to stay there and spend time with him.
"Come one Claire! This is our summer before we go to college! We NEED to spend it together!" Ethan whined.
"Ethan, I would love to spend summer with you but I have to go see my mom. I want to see her before I go off to school."
"Ugh..."
"Ethan..." I made a pleading face.
I knew he didn't want me to go. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me down to the bed with him. He looked at me, his face serious but his eyes are kind.
"I don't want you to go. What if we go to college and never talk or see each other again?"
I smiled and laughed a little.
"That will never happen!" I said.
"What if it does?"
"It won't! The college I am going to is not that far away from yours. I will call and visit all the time."
He looked at me then said with a sly smile,
"You never told me the college you are going to."
"You will eventually know."
"Why not just tell me?"
"Because it is a surprise."
He looked at me giving me a 'Yeah OKAY' look. I hit his shoulder, not that hard, and tried to get up to pack more. Ethan pulled me back down again.
"I have to pack, let me go."
"You can take a break." he smirked.
"Fine." I flopped back on my bed.
I laid there and Ethan laid down beside me. I looked at the ceiling while I felt him staring at me. Our hands were side-by-side, brushing each other. I felt tingles run through my body. Suddenly, I felt his hand move and grab mine. I sat up immediately and pulled my hand away. I got up and started packing more. When I looked at him, he looked a bit disappointed. Then, someone knocked on the door. I yelled, quickly,
"Come on in!"
Gwen came through the door and smiled nervously. She had a few bags with her.
"I came to say goodbye."
I looked at her, confused.
"You're going alone?"
"Yeah, no parents. I am leaving soon; in about an hour."
I went over and gave her the biggest hug.
"I'll see you there?" she asked.
"Of course!" I said excitedly.
We hugged again and I said,
"By the way, you're invited to my birthday party."
"Really? What's your mom doing for this one?"
"Just a big eighteenth birthday bash!"
"That sounds amazing!"
We laughed a little then sort of looked at each other. She went over to Ethan and whispered something in his ear. His face was full of shock and sadness. Gwen quickly gave him a hug then said bye to the both of us. When she left, I asked,
"What did she whisper in your ear?"
He looked at me, sort of sad.
"She's...she's going to college here."
"Here? Here in London?" I started to panic.
"Yes."
"No! We promised we would all go to college at least NEAR each other!"
"Well, it is a great opportunity for her; we should be proud of her." he said quietly.
I sort of calmed down a little. I guess he was right.
"Yeah, I guess...wait, how are you dealing with all this?"
He hesitantly said,
"I don't know."
Yes, he still had feelings for Gwen. He always loved the idea of all of us visiting each other at college. He loved that he would spend more time with Gwen (so he said). Sadly, that was all over. We sat in silence for a while then he asked,
"What did you guys mean by 'see you there?'"
"Oh, she's going to Pennsylvania to spend the summer with her aunt and uncle. I used to watch her cousin, so I know them. Gwen has never been to Pennsylvania before so she decided to go."
"Great, you guys get to spend your last summer before college together and I am sitting at home all summer, doing nothing"
"I'm sorry."
Then Ethan had a big grin on his face. That meant he was thinking. I always hated when he got thinking; he had the weirdest plans.
"What if..." he trailed off.
"What if what?"
"What if I came with you? Then we could all spend summer together."
"First, it costs money for that; second, I want to spend time with my mom; third, my dad would never let you go."
"Money is no problem, you WILL be able to spend time with your mom, and what does your dad have to do with this?"
"My dad is paying for the plane ride."
"Okay...how do I get on your father's good side?"
I stared at him and thought. Finally I said,
"There is no way."
"Then you talk to him for me."
"Awe, why me?"
"He's your father!"
"Ugh..." I hesitated.
"Come on."
I stood up and turned away from him. I felt a warm hand grab my arm and turn me around. He stood there, inches away from my face.
"Please?" he whispered.
I hated when he did that. Every time he did that, I always thought about that one day. So, I always give in so I don't do anything stupid.
"Okay, fine." I said looking away.
When I looked back at him, he looked disappointed again. I didn't understand that. Eventually, he left and later on, I went to talk to my dad.
***
"Dad?" I said lightly as I walked into the living room.
"Yes, Claire?"
"I was wondering if I could take a friend with me this summer."
"Depends, who exactly?"
"Uh, well...Ethan" I said quickly.
"No."
"What?"
"I said no; N-O. No."
"Dad..."
"You're not bringing him with you."
"Why?"
"Why?! Because he is just going to mess with you again."
"Dad, he's my best friend and he has never messed with me, you know this. Nothing has ever happened and nothing ever will." I fibbed a little.
"I don't want to chance it."
"Look, dad, you can't control my life forever. Whatever happens to me, I have to deal with it. Just let me handle my own life."
He looked at me, then stood up. He kissed my head and said,
"Fine, but only because your not my little girl anymore. This is your decision, so I will let you make it."
"Thank you."
"Anyway I could talk you out of it?" he grinned.
"Nope."
I smiled at him and gave him a huge hug. I walked out and let Ethan know immediately. He was extremely excited. In a few days, we were off to Pennsylvania. It kind of scared me a bit because Ethan knew very little about my home in P.A. That scared me a lot.

Sweet Sunshine (First Part!!)

2011-06-02T20:25:00.001-04:00

A girl like me shouldn't fall in love. Though, I have and it's with my best friend. I didn't think he felt the same way. See, I though he was in love with my best girl friend, Gwen West. She has been my friend since about a year after a came to live with my dad. See, when I was ten years old, my parents got divorced. My mom stayed in Pennsylvania while I was dragged to London with my father. My father grew up in London but moved to Pennsylvania when he was old enough. He met my mom, fell in love, had me, and fell out of love. Luckily for me, I got to go on a plane every other holiday to see my mom. Okay, so that wasn't so fun. Not that I hate my mom, I just hated going back and forth between them. It's like they are playing tug-a-war and I am the rope. So all in all, that is how I ended up in London.
When I got there, I was put in this private school. Most of the people there hated me. My first day, no one would talk to me, so I thought. During lunch, a boy came up to me. He had short, dark, brown hair and bright green eyes. He came up to me and said,
"H-Hi, I'm E-Ethan; E-Ethan B-Burlock."
He smiled nervously. He was sincerely trying to be nice, even though he was nervous. So, I stood up, put my hand out, and proudly said,
"Nice to meet you! I'm Claire Hill!"
He was a bit shocked by the way I replied, yet he smiled with relief and shook my hand.
"I was scared you didn't want anyone to bother you." he said in a cute accent.
I laughed,
"No, I was actually feeling a bit lonely."
He sat down and grinned,
"There, you're not lonely anymore!"
We both laughed and started talking. After that day, we had lunch together everyday. We started hanging out after school, before school, in school, everywhere! People started calling us little sweethearts; we ignored them. A year later, we both started hanging out with Gwen. All three of us became great friends. It wasn't until we all turned thirteen when things got interesting. One day, we all were supposed to hang out; do homework, watch movies, play games we make up. Sadly, Gwen wasn't able to come. Ethan and I still hung out, though. My father was downstairs while we were up in my room. We were just talking. I was sitting on my bed while Ethan sat in front of me on the floor, facing forward. We were just sitting in a comfortable silence for a while when Ethan said,
"Claire?"
"Yeah, Ethan?"
"I was wondering..." he hesitated.
"Wondering what?" I asked.
"I was wondering...if you like anyone." he whispered shyly.
My face turned red. I had liked him for a while but I never admitted it. I said quietly,
"Uh...no...no, I don't like anyone."
"Really?"
"Yeah, really." I lied.
"Oh that's alright."
"D-Do you like anyone?"
Now I was curious. Why would he bring this up? He was silent. He looked forward and said lightly,
"I think I like...Gwen."
I suddenly felt my heart get stomped on. I sat there staring at the back of his head, speechless. I wanted to cry, but I bit my lip.
"Really?" I asked.
My voice cracked; he didn't even notice, though.
"Yeah, she's really nice and sweet. I think I really like her." he said quietly.
I could barely hold in my tears. I said I had to go to the bathroom. I went to the bathroom and cried. Soon after, I wiped my tears and went back in. We didn't talk about that again until he was leaving. As he was about to leave I said,
"Ethan?"
"Yeah?" I asked as he was putting on his coat.
"I don't like anyone, I love someone."
"Who?"
I though for a moment then said,
"You'll find out someday."
He gave me a look and walked out the door. He waved and so did I. Soon, after that day, nothing really changed. We all just stayed friends. Gwen had no idea how Ethan felt. Sadly, Gwen knew how I felt for Ethan. Everyday she would kid around with me to ask him out. I would always hit her and tell her that me and him are JUST friends. Ethan always liked Gwen. I always loved Ethan. The thing was, when I finally started turning that love into a 'friend' love, he always seemed to pull me back in. One time, our sophomore year, Ethan got drunk. I had to drag him upstairs to his room. By that time, that year, I had a boyfriend and Ethan had a girlfriend (though he still had feelings for Gwen). Ethan's girlfriend, at the time, cheated on him at his own party. So, since he was so depressed, he went and got his father's alcohol. I got him up to his room and he sort of fell onto his bed. Then he said,
"Why is it no girl loves me?"
I said, reluctantly,
"Girls love you, just sometimes not the right ones."
"I don't get it."
"Get what?"
"Get why none of the girls I love, love me. I may not be perfect, but come on!" he started to yell.
To keep him from yelling, I sat down beside him and told him to calm down.
"I just want to know why! I mean I love Alice (his cheating ex-girlfriend), but she cheated on me! I like Gwen, but she doesn't like me. I mean, come on!"
"Just calm down. Obviously, Alice and Gwen don't see your full potential. You're nice and kind; when your not drunk. You will eventually find your girl."
Ethan looked at me in some kind of daze. Finally he said,
"What about you?"
"What ABOUT me?" I asked a bit scared to know.
"Why don't you love me?"
My heart sank.
"Wha-What are you talking about? We are just friends!!"
"What if I wanted you to be more than my friend?"
"No, NO! You're drunk and don't know what you're talking about! Plus, I have a boyfriend!"
"You mean Collin? He is so stupid though."
"He's not stupid to me!"
I was angry and my heart was torn. I always wanted him to say that but not like that; not drunk.
"Us being together has never crossed your mind?"
"No, maybe a little but no."
He came closer to me on the bed, so I stood up. He stood up and grabbed my arm. Though very drunk, he seemed completely serious. He pulled me towards him. Our faces were inches away and I still just looked. His bright green eyes were hypnotizing me. I tried to say no but it was to late. He grabbed my gace softly and kissed me. it was passionate and long. I could feel myself wanting more. He pulled off his shirt and led me to the bed. We kept kissing; my trance wouldn't break. Suddenly, I pushed away. I wanted more, but I couldn't do it. Not like that. He kept staring at me, disappointed in a way. I got up and said,
"I can't do this." I ran out.
The next day, Ethan barely remembered anything. He had a headache and kept saying that he needed an advil. I gave him some and asked if he remembered anything from last night.
"I sort of remember you taking me up to my room. I know we talk, about something. Then..." he trailed off.
He sort of stared at me.
"Claire?"
"Yeah?"
"Did we...did we kiss last night?"
I stopped, took a deep breath in and said,
"No, we didn't."
"Oh...uh, I...I must had been dreaming."
"Yeah."
I got up and went home. After that, I tried to avoid those moments with Ethan. I did break up with Collin, he cheated on me, and had a few other boyfriends in high school. Sadly, I never forgot that one day. Every time I went over that day in my head, I would say to myself, "He was drunk, it didn't mean anything." Sadly, there was still that other part of me thinking, "When he kissed me, he was serious."
It wasn't until after graduation and my last summer of freedom before college that the really story started.

Author's Note: This is more of a before the story kind of thing. Explaining everything that has happened between them. It gives great insight and definite foreshadowing for what's going to happen. :)

Summer

2011-06-02T20:10:00.002-04:00

Alrighty people, I am so ready for summer that it is crazy. I can't wait for the last day when I can just leave. It isn't that I am going crazy, I am pretty at ease, actually. My year has officially come to an end. Well, the school year anyway. Soon, I will be able to just focus on having fun and at least getting one of my stories done. I am still working on Mystic Grace and I am also still working on another story called Invisible Girl. No, it isn't about some girl with invisibility powers, I promise. It is about a teenage girl with the same problem a lot of people have, she doesn't know how to take chances. I know, sounds kind of drawn out in a way, but it actually gets deep. I look back at most of the stories I have wrote or started and realize I would change a lot about them. I want to keep rewriting until I get them perfect, but that will never happen because they will never be perfect in my eyes. For now, I am going to keep writing because at least then, my mind can work. I love daydreaming and capturing it all on paper. So, peace love and happiness everyone. Have a great summer.

P.S. I have a story I started this year and actually ended a while ago. It is called Sweet Sunshine. It is more a love story, like Working With You is. Gosh, there are so many corrections I have to make on Working With You! Anyway, I am thinking about posting it on here. Even if no one reads this, I am still going to post it on here! So, if anybody does read my stuff, come back and read it. It may not be perfect because I will be copying it from my first copy that is in my notebook. This is definitely a love story so if you don't like love stories, I ask you not to read it. Thank you and thanks for reading all this jibber jabber!!!!! :D

Another Poem!!!!!

2011-05-14T13:53:00.001-04:00

Even though i just posted, here's another poem:

The World and I

I see the world differently.

No one knows, though.

I am quiet as can be.

No one can read me.

Everyone believes what they want;

They see what they want.

Yet, they never see me.

I am more than just a face.

No one seems to see.

Stop and take a look inside.

I hurt.

I cry.

I laugh.

I smile.

I look at the world in many ways.

No one can tell.

When I see the world,

I can never look at it the same.

So, maybe when I hurt,

The world is dull and gloomy.

Maybe when I laugh,

The world is bright and wonderful.

Maybe when I hide,

The world is with me.

The world is with me,

Through my ups and downs.

So, maybe I am different.

Maybe I think differently.

But, that has never stopped me.

So, watch me as I, just me,

Take on the world.

Again, sorry if it depressing!!! Comment and judge if you want!!!

SORRY

2011-05-14T13:41:00.002-04:00

Okay, i don't think this effects anyone 'cause i don't think anyone really read my blog but, i am SO SORRY!!! i am stopping the witch of the earth story too, 'cause i just kept getting stuck on it...i am sorry, i had another idea for a story that i got from witch of the earth. It is called Mystic Grace. I don't know if i will post that on here anytime soon but i am definitely posting it on quibblo. I normally make sure that i post that stuff on facebook. I don't think anyone really cares, so i am not so worried. I haven't posted on here for a while so i thought i would, since it has been so long. I also thought i should explain why i just altogether stopped like, two stories, in the middle of writing them. I want to write more of the Mystic Grace story before i post it on here. For now, IF you want to read it, it is on quibblo and i will post when i have a 'new chapter' done on there. I may not get to it too often because i still have a few more weeks of school and finals are coming up. So i may be focused a little more on that than this and my story. So, for now, i will be posting a few poems that i made. Here is the first:

Why Can’t I Cry?

What if I just want to cry?

When I paint a smile on my face.

When the world keeps turning me down.

When nothing goes right,

I just want to cry.

Why can’t I?

I can’t because I am strong,

When I need to be.

I can’t because I laugh,

When I need to.

I can’t because I hide,

So no one knows.

Better to cry when no one’s there,

Than to cry and make it hurt worse

Sorry if it is depressing, just letting out some feelings!!!!!

If you could wish for anything, what would you wish for?

2011-03-03T21:33:00.001-05:00

If you could wish for anything, what would you wish for?

Answer here

formspring.me

2011-03-02T18:11:00.001-05:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/klcutie95

Sorry....

2011-01-20T16:04:00.002-05:00

Sorry guys (for those who are reading, which I believe that is no one) I am stopping this story 'til I can figure out what to do next. I promise I will put a different story on soon so at least then, you have something to read. I will try to not make so many mistakes with the next one I type. I think I will end up putting my story on here that is a romantic, fantasy, sort of adventure. It will be called "Witch of The Earth." So far, many of my friends have said that they like it. This would be the first time I would write it on my blog. I really like this story that I am writing. And don't worry about the other story. When I FINALLY figure out what I am gonna do with it, I will try to put it back on here. For now, I am sorry about the other story and I PROMISE I will make more soon. Just got to work on the story "Witch of The Earth." Please come here and read it when I post it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks all who actually read this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Kali (Of course, who else would get on my blog)

P.S. If you do read my stories, you should comment more!!!! I would like to know what you think about my story and plus I would like to know SOMEONE is reading this. THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Afterwards- The end

2010-08-27T13:51:00.002-04:00

John and Jane had never made a move after that day. The simply became friends. The musical was amazing and got great rating from the viewers. They had a cast party after the musical was over for all their hard work. At the cast party, Julianne got up on a chair and said,
"Everyone! Everyone! I would like to say something!"
Everyone got quiet and looked at Julianne. Jane and John were talking to Alex and Lara when they heard Julianne.
"Ok, thank you. You all were amazing but if it wasn't for one person here, we wouldn't have had such a great a musical. John, if you didn't come into our lives, we would be doing some stupid musical that wouldn't have been the impressive. Plus, our lives wouldn't have changed. John, come up here!"
John moved forward, got up on the chair, and said,
"Well, this is a surprise. I wasn't expecting to make a speech. Really, everyone made this musical happen. You all helped me see that everything that is here, is what I want. This is what changed me. I can't wait to start next year and try again. Hopefully, next year I will do just as good, maybe even better. Thank you everyone!" John stepped down and everyone clapped.
John made his way to Jane, Lara, and Alex. Lara and Alex gave John a hug and said they were leaving. John said he was leaving too. John stepped outside and started for his car.
"John!" screamed Jane.
"Jane?" John said while turning around.
"John I have to say something."
"Well? Spit it out."
"John...when you said that everything here is what you want, what did you mean?"
John felt a strange feeling inside him that he hadn't felt in a while.
"Well, I meant about the musical. And myself. And....well.....you."
"Huh?"
"You heard me." John smiled and moved closer.
"But I thought you just liked me as a friend?"
"Oh, come on Jane. I didn't want either of us to get more hurt than we already did. When we were both happy and good, I was scared to try again. I was afraid that something would go wrong again."
"John, we are going to have problems. It just depends if we want to deal with them together."
They stood there just looking at each other in silent. John and Jane knew what they wanted. John got closer to her, looked at her, and whispered,
"I'm in love with you. And I'll always be in love with you."
Jane smiled and they kissed. It was passionate and long. No stage kiss. As they pulled away from their decade long kiss, they heard clapping. They turned to see Lara and Alex standing there. Alex said,
"Well, it's about time!"
Jane and John smiled. They finally went on a date. Without any distractions. John and Jane were finally happy. The happiness may not last forever, but it will always be there. Whatever happened, John and Jane were willing to face it, together.

Chapt 8- Part 6

2010-08-25T18:44:00.002-04:00

This one is going to be short!
***
Jane woke up the next day and went down to the theater. John drove down with his new/old truck. John reviewed his lines in his head. Jane was more concerned about getting there. Jane finally got there and John was already there. Jane went over to Julianne and said,
"I'm sorry I missed rehearsal yesterday; I had to do something."
"That is ok. We weren't going to do much anyway."
"Thank you."
Jane then made her way to Lara. She said she was sorry that she has been sulking. Then John passed them and waved at both of them.
"You and John are together?" Lara asked.
"No, we're friends. We are taking baby steps this time around."
"Oh, I see. So what happened to you? Why are so happy?"
"Well, if you must know, I talked to my dad. Don't get worried because it wasn't anything bad. We actually had a talk. Without him being drunk. We sorted out many things. I told him that we can try to talk more tomorrow over at my apartment."
"Wow! I am so surprised! What made you want to talk to him?"
"John gave me some advice. For once, I decided to follow it."
"What did he tell you?"
"He told me to move on. You know what surprised me?"
"What?"
"He told me I had this wall up that kept him away from me but when all that happened, I realized he wasn't scared of the wall."
"Nothing. He just hated seeing me hurt."
"Then why did he even talk to you?"
"Truthfully, I don't think he was talking to me, I think he was trying to climb over the wall."
Lara looked at Jane funny but Jane didn't look at her. Jane was to busy looking at John. Then she went over to John.
"John?"
"Yes, Jane."
"I have to tell you something."
"Then tell me."
He smiled. John wanted to see her smile like that again. When John saw her face, he knew his job was done. He waited for Jane while admiring her smile.
"John..."
Jane felt her face warm up. She knew what she wanted to say. It was on the tip of her tongue.
"Jane? Look, I am happy you're happy. For once everything is right. For now, let's be friends and get to know each other better."
"Uh...ok. But what about us?"
"We'll figure that out when the time comes."
"But--"
"John! Jane! We have to start rehearsal now!" Julianne called out.
John and Jane looked at each other for a second. They knew what they wanted. Sadly, they were scared. John put his hand on her face and said,
"I promise I won't leave this time."
Then he pulled his hand away and put it in front of her. They shook hands and went to stage. Jane and John were confused, happy, and sad all at the same time. They couldn't describe it but they didn't mind it. They simply smiled and did what they knew they did best together; perform.
If you want more you have got to comment. Whether on facebook or on my blog itself. You got to tell me if you want to know what happens next. If not...well I guess you will never know. Hope you comment.

Chapt 8- Part 5

2010-08-23T22:31:00.002-04:00

Surprisingly, after all of that, Jane told her dad to leave. She felt that she needed to think about everything. Jane couldn't help it. She knew that her dad's feelings were true but she needed to figure out a few things too. Jane finally got what John was saying. She pulled out her phone and called her mother.
"Hello? Jane?"
Jane was silent because she was shocked to hear her mother's voice. Any other time she tried to call her mom, her mother wouldn't pick up the phone or even ignore her call. Finally she answered,
"Mom, I am here."
"Oh my gosh! I was so worried about you! I heard your father came to visit you, drunk! Lara let me know. Are you okay? Did he do anything to you? Are you hurt?"
"I am fine. Me and dad--"
"What did he do?! You sound like you have been crying!"
"Mom! Calm down, I am fine! Me and dad talked. Nothing more, nothing less. I am fine. He seems so different then he was. He has been in rehab. He is doing great, mom. If he comes to visit you, don't be scared. He just wants to talk to you."
"That's impossible! Nobody ever changes! Especially your father! I wouldn't trust him if I were you!"
"I am going to trust him! You know why? After all these years, he kept his promise to change. You can keep him a safe distance away, if you want, but I'm not. I finally realized that I need to move on with my life instead of letting something hurt me, deep inside, for the rest of my life! I can't hold on anymore. The past is the past, mom. This might surprise you, but dad has changed. And for once, he didn't have to fake his feelings!"
"Jane--"
"I don't want to hear it mom! You know what makes him even better now than then? He actually came hear to do this than do it over the phone! I haven't talked to you for years! When I did, it was 'Hope you're having a great time at school!' and that was it. You never picked up your phone or you IGNORED my calls! At least dad had the decency to come here and fight and talk to me in person! So, I hope your happy. I don't know about you but I am moving on with my life."
It was silent. Jane's mother didn't say anything. Jane had a feeling that would happen. She knew her mother would have nothing to say because, even though she knew Jane was right, she couldn't let go. Jane simply said,
"Goodbye mom. I hope your happy living your life in the past. Call me when you decide to let go of it."
Then Jane hung up. For some reason, Jane didn't cry. She felt more like a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. She got what she wanted to say out. Not only to her mom, but to her dad too. She had finally moved on. What happened in her past, happened. She couldn't take it back. Jane was happy about that. It happened. Past tense. Things change and so do people. Now, Jane only had one thing on her mind and that was John.

Chapt 8- Part 4

2010-08-19T17:11:00.002-04:00

Jane eventually got up from her seat and went back to her apartment. When she got there, she was surprised to see her father standing right outside of her door.
"Ky-Dad?"
"Jane! I thought you were in your apartment, ignoring me."
"No, I was at the coffee shop. What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to apologize for the way everything happened the other night. I shouldn't have came here drunk. I shouldn't have had your friend taking care of me. I have been going to rehab and trying my best to not drink. If I do, it is usually just one cup. I want to try again. I know I don't deserve a second chance with you but I would really like one."
"Kyle..."
"Jane, I need to do this. I put you and your mother through so much. You both didn't deserve that. You were my daughter. If you will let me, I would still like to be your father."
"Dad, I am all grown up. You can't exactly raise me all over again."
"I know that. I just want to be apart of your life. Janey, if I could take back all of the things that I have done, I would."
When Jane looked at her father, she realized he was crying. She had seen her dad cry before, but most of the time, it was fake. What surprised her was that these tears weren't fake, they were completely real. Jane felt tears coming down her face. She also realized that he called her Janey. He used to call her Janey when she was just a little girl; before he started drinking.
"I...I...I just don't know, dad. I don't know if it is that easy to let you back in. You did put me through a lot of stuff. I don't know if I can just let go."
When Jane said that, John's question popped into her head. Why keep holding on to something that is hurting deep down inside? That is what he meant. She had been holding on to her past. Not her past with John, her past with her father. She thought about all those days her dad came back home, drunk, and beat her and her mother. Then, he just took off. The day he took off, he left a note. The note that gave Jane hope. She read it everyday. Until she gave up. Jane still kept it in her wallet but she hadn't read it in a while. Jane pulled out her wallet, right then and there, and pulled out the little note. She read it aloud.
"Dear Jane,
I have been doing a bunch of stupid stuff. I know I have. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I just want you to be happy. Janey, always be happy and follow your dreams. Don't ever make the same mistakes I have made. Tell your mother I am sorry for everything I have done. I will do whatever it takes to fix everything. Or at least fix myself. I will always love you Janey. Your mother too. I hope one day, I could see you again and see that you are all better. And hopefully I will be better. Goodbye."
"You kept that all these years?" asked Kyle.
"Yes, hoping everything you said in it would come true. I had so much hope that you would come back. That you had changed for the better. Why did you leave?! Why did you put me and mom through all of that?! I spent nights crying for you but you never came back! I just wanted everything to be better again!"
"I didn't want to hurt you anymore than I had already. I thought, if I left, it would be better for your mom and you. I didn't want to hurt you. I loved you too much. The day I left, I saw you and your mom in the window looking at all the bruises I have given. I couldn't stand to watch anymore. I had already put so much hurt upon you guys. I couldn't do it anymore. So I just left. It was the only thing I could think of that would make your lives easier. When you guys left, I went in the house, packed my stuff, and left. I went to stay with my buddies. I am so sorry."
Jane was crying her eyes out and so was her father. Kyle got closer and hugged. Then he whispered,
"I love you, Janey."
"I love you too, dad."

Chapt 8- Part 3

2010-08-17T16:29:00.002-04:00

***
It had been a few weeks since John had been back a few weeks now. He was able to be back in the musical but Jane and him were still apart. Nothing had changed between them. John only talked to Jane unless he needed to. A month had passed by and they still had two months left. The musical was doing great. It was everything with John and Jane that was a disaster. Jane wanted him to talk to her. She has tried to talk to him, but he has completely ignored her. John was doing great, though. He had a very positive attitude about everything. He has been spending his time practicing and hanging out with his friends. Especially, Alex. Ever since they talked, him and Alex have been talking and hanging out a lot more. Of course, sometimes, Alex brought Lara. John was so happy for Lara and Alex because they were doing so great. Jane was to busy practicing and feeling sorry for herself that she hasn't spent that much time hanging with her friends. She felt too alone to do anything. Jane woke up late that morning cranky and not willing to go to rehearsal. So she got dressed and went to the coffee shop. What she found there was nothing what she was expecting. She brought her lines with her and got her coffee. She sat down and studied carefully. Then, she heard a familiar voice asking,
"Can I sit here?"
Jane looked up and saw John.
"What are you doing here?"
"Rehearsal was canceled because you didn't show up."
"How did you know I would be here?"
"I guessed. I also remember you telling me that when you were having a bad day, you go get coffee and relax."
"How did you remember that?"
"Because it was a good moment I had with you. So, can I sit here?"
Jane nodded and moved her things off the other chair.
"So, why are you in a bad mood?" John asked.
"I don't know. It has something to do with someone named John."
"I thought, by now, you would get that I am not your problem. If I was your problem, then you would be mine. Just because we're not together, doesn't mean we can't be friends."
"Yes it does. I can't be friends with my ex."
"Technically, I am not your ex because we were never really together. So, we could be friends."
"Ok, fine, but if you're not my problem, than what is?"
"I don't know, Jane, what is your problem? Maybe it is the fact that you just can't let go. If you hold on to the past, than you will never enjoy life. When you told me that your parents were dead, you said it because you were ashamed of your past. Sadly, the past has passed. Why keep holding on to something that is hurting deep down inside? Only you can answer that question."
"But what does all of that mean?"
"Ugh..."
"John!"
"If I can't make you see than you will have to figure it all out yourself. I hope you can be happier. And most of all, I hope we can be together again."
John got up and kissed Jane on the cheek. Then, he left. Jane sat there with a lifetime of question that had no answers. Jane wanted to let go, but she just didn't know what she needed to let go of.

Chapt 8- Part 2

2010-07-26T13:59:00.004-04:00

Jane immediately walked towards Julianne and John. As she got closer to the conversation, she heard,
"Julianne, I know I quit but I still need my job. I am not asking to be back in the musical, I just want to work backstage again."
"I don't know." Julianne said.
John then showed her the piece of paper that Jane had just noticed he was holding. Then, Jane saw Julianne smile brightly and hug him.
"I am so proud of you. I just knew you would get in. Let me just go talk to someone and I will definitely see what I can do."
Julianne walked away and Jane made her move. She walked in front of John and said,
"What are you doing here?"
"Well, it's nice to see you too."
"Seriously, what are you doing here?"
"I came back. I needed to figure out something. It was better I left. I had time to think and I did."
"Think about what exactly?"
"Think about my future and who will be in it."
"And who will be in it?"
"I don't know yet."
"John..."
"Jane, I don't know if I can trust you. It seems to me like you have something blocking me from getting close to you. Until you put down that wall, I get be with you. I am happy to be back. I will talk to you later."
John walked away and got stopped again by Alex.
"We need to talk."
"About what? We don't need to talk, you pretty much have Jane and everything else."
"About how I don't want any of this anymore. When you left, I realized, just then, how much you changed."
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't you see? When I first met you, you were a jerk. It might be mean but it is the truth. When you got here and everything happened, you changed quickly. You changed because you were actually happy where you were and happy with the person you saw. I was the one that turned into a jerk. No, I take that back, I turned into an asshole. I thought I needed what you did because it did so good for you. I shouldn't have done that. You may bunch me again if you want."
"Alex..."
"I am ready, punch me."
"Alex, I am not going to punch you. You finally see what I have been wanting you to see when we first got here together. And I know I was a jerk before. I am so thankful to be here. I am extremely happy here. That's why I am going to school here next year."
Alex's frown turned to a bright smile when he heard this. Then he shook John's hand and said,
"Congratulations! You will definitely do great things!"
"Thanks."
"So does this mean we're buddies again?"
"The best."
"One more thing."
"What?"
"What about Jane?"
"I...I don't think I will ever be with her again. Not like that anyway."

Chapter 8- Part 1

2010-07-21T12:42:00.002-04:00

John had drove all the way to New York. He was surprised to come back and still find an empty apartment. His landlord let him have the place again. John decided to move a few things around from the last time. When he was done, he wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to go down to the theater to ask if he at least still has his job. Sadly, he wasn't so sure if that was a good idea. He sat on his couch and thought. Eventually, he fell asleep. He dreamed about the musical. He dreamed about the night of the premiere. It was exciting until he realized he wasn't performing in the musical. He simply watched in the audience and payed close attention to the love scenes. Jane and Alex performed them perfectly, as if they were truly in love. John's anger and jealousy rose after every scene. Then, the musical was over and Jane and Alex came down off the stage and kissed. John immediately woke up. He hadn't felt those feelings in a while. He hadn't felt the feeling of wanting something he can't have, for a while now. John got up and drove down to the theater. Jane was already there, talking with Lara.
"Lara, there were reasons that I had to hide from those scenes."
"Well, they must not matter anymore. You have finally moved on with yourself. You are performing in the musical, all scenes, and surprisingly, have a date with Alex tonight. What changed your mind about him?"
"Nothing. I was just sick of hearing him ask me. Ever since we talked in the closet, he thought that he was good enough to ask me out."
"Well, Alex has changed a lot since the beginning of the musical. I do have to admit, he's gotten better. If only John would come back and be friends with him again. Then, everything would be perfect."
"No, it wouldn't be. John should never come back. Everything is better and back to normal without him. Maybe it's better that I lied to him."
"First, do you know how bratish you just sounded? Second, you know that's not true because you really cared for him. I think you might have loved him."
"I didn't love him. He was just one big mistake."
"No he wasn't. You said when you're around him, he makes you feel happy. What happen to that girl. This is part of the reason I miss John. He changed you in a way that no one could. He made you happy like no one could. You miss him. You love him."
Jane was just about to retaliate but was surprised to have Alex come up with a face that she couldn't read.
"Alex, what's wrong?" Jane asks.
"Nothing, just that I definitely have to cancel our date tonight. I just realized something that I should have realized the first time you said it. You don't like me."
"Alex, I like you. You have changed. You needed that. We can still go on our date."
"No, you don't. And maybe I have changed but that is not why you want me. You want me because you want everything to go back to the way things were before John. I can't do that. Plus, I think I need to move on too. I need to do something that I wanted to do before John too. This is something I should have done without confusing another. So, this should be better this time."
Jane watched Alex walk past her and towards Lara. Jane watched and heard the conversation. He can't be asking Lara out, I thought she liked someone else. Jane tried to stop him but he got to her and asked,
"Lara, I know I was a jerk before, but will you go out with me?"
Lara looked shocked but smiled and said,
"Yes, I will."
Lara gave Jane a look and then came over to her and said,
"Before you ask question--"
Lara stops herself and looks behind Jane. Jane realized she got distracted and turned around to see what she saw. Then, Jane's mouth dropped. She stared as she saw John standing there, talking to Julianne.

Chapt 7- Part 5

2010-07-16T20:21:00.002-04:00

***
After a few weeks, John was finally happy being at home. He knew he couldn't stay, but he was happy everything was calm. His father and him still have there little fights but not like the ones he had with him about his future. John was eating breakfast with his father, when his mother came through the door with the mail.
"John, this is for you." John's mother said with a smile.
John took the envelope and opened it slowly. He was scared that he would look at the paper and be completely disappointed. Surprisingly, when he saw the letter, the first word was "Congratulations!" He smiled and said,
"I'm in!"
"That's wonderful, dear!"
"Guess you better start packing." John's father said.
"Actually, dad, I am already packed. I was going to go back either way. NYC has become my home. This will always be my first home but I have to go back. At least I have a reason."
"I wondered why a found boxes outside your door." his father smiled.
They got up and started putting boxes in the truck. His father gave him the truck and said goodbye. So did his mom. John waved goodbye in the mirror and headed back to New York. Jane was there dealing with one of her small problems: hiding during the love scenes.
"Jane! Jane, we need you out here! Look, I know you don't like me! That's why it is called acting!" Alex screamed.
Jane was hiding in the closet, where she usually hides. Alex, surprisingly, found her. He found her sitting on the floor in the closet. So, he joined her.
"Alex, I don't want to do this with you. Not now, not later. Leave."
"I know who you want to do this with but he isn't here. He left. You can't hide from your own mistake. The reason your stuck with me is your fault. Stop trying to blame it one everyone else or even the musical."
"I am not--"
"Yes, you are. If you weren't, you wouldn't hide from every love scene we have together. I get it Jane, you don't like me and you never will. Sadly, that's not why your hiding. You're just using that as an excuse. You said you have always wanted to do this, so stop being such a scaredy cat and do it! Now I see why John left! You are the most complicated girl on the planet! You can't figure out how you feel or what you want! I know I was a jerk but before you knew John, you sure did make it out that you were interested! Now, well now you hate me! And you treating John like dirt."
"You treated him like dirt! How are you any different?!"
"I have actually learned from my mistake! If I would have treated him better...maybe...just maybe...I might still have a friend. He has changed a lot since I met him. When I met him, he was a completely unhappy jerk. Now, he knows exactly what he is doing. He so much better when he is happy. And he is happy onstage. He is happy with--never mind."
"With who?"
"With who?! With you!"

Chapt 7- Part 4

2010-07-15T13:55:00.002-04:00

***
John was up early the next day. He didn't really get out of bed, though. He was laying in bed just thinking. He thought about Juilliard. He thought hard about the sent application making its way to New York. If he got in, he got in and he would have to leave. He would have to leave and his father was going to be even more angry. John got up, finally, and went to the kitchen. His father was sitting at the table eating breakfast.
"Dad?"
"Yes, John?"
"Can we talk?"
"Sure, about what?"
"Well...about college."
"Ok. Does this mean you finally sent in those application to the school's I picked out for you?"
"No, I filled out a different application and sent it out. It was an application to Juilliard. I didn't do any of the other applications because sports isn't what I want to do."
"John! You have to have more options than just some stupid music school! Fine, this is your dream but it won't pay the bills!" John's father was getting more angry by the minute.
"You would be surprised! Dad, there is so much stuff I could do with music, acting, and stuff like that. I could even write my own musical. My own music. My own movie. My own play. This is my dream and I am going to do whatever it takes to fulfill it. I'm sorry I can't be your baseball playing son! I don't understand why you want me to do this anyway! I have never been that good at baseball! Just tell me your obsession with me being a star baseball player!"
"I was supposed to go to college to be a star baseball player! I couldn't because your mother and I were in such a good relationship together. Then she told me she was pregnant. I couldn't go then. I wanted to be with her and my child. So I told my parents and they just let me go like I was nothing to them. That's why we barely talk to your grandparents. That's why I want you to do so much. I just wanted to see someone fulfill my dream."
"If it was your dream you would have figured out a way to go to school and take care of mom. You didn't try, though. Maybe your dream was to be with mom and have a child with her."
"I don't know anymore."
John's father dropped his head. John sat down beside him and started to give him a hug. He didn't know why. The last time he hugged his dad was when he was six years old.
"Dad, I will always love you and you did great at raising me. Look at me! I am sitting here fighting for my dream. You taught me to be strong for things that are important to me. I will come back and visit. I need to go back though."
"Yes you do need to go back." his father said with a smile.
"Thanks dad."
"John, I just need to know one more thing."
"What would that be?"
"Next time you come back, are you going to bring a girl home for us to meet?"
"Let's hope so."

Chapt 7- Part 3

2010-07-13T17:11:00.002-04:00

Jane looked at Julianne. Jane was lost in thought. She couldn't understand what problem she needed to solve. Her problem, though, was staring her in the face. All her life she has blocked it out. She couldn't do anything about it. She simply looked at Julianne, waved to her, and walked out. She stood outside of the theater for sometime. She just thought. She thought of John and his problem. She thought of herself and her problem. The solutions weren't going to be easy to find. Jane couldn't even find her problem. John found his problem. He was living with his problem. John couldn't stand talking to his father. His father would always talk about schools he could go to for baseball. Even after telling his father that he was going to follow his own dreams, his dad still didn't listen.
"John, look, you have to start signing college applications if you want to be an star baseball player. I have got you a few to start if you would like to look."
"No, dad, I am fine."
John walked out of his old kitchen and went to get the mail. He opened the mail box and grabbed the pile of mail. As he walked back to the house, he looked through the mail.
"Bill, bill, bill, bi--"
John pulled up a huge, brown envelope with his name on it. He immediately stopped in his place and opened the envelope. He pulled out information on the school, Juilliard, and also an application. It had a small sticky note on it that said,
"Thought you might need this soon. If you want to follow your dream, you will need this. Just remember, John, you make your own future. So make it already!
Love,
Julianne"
John smiles and was able to bring in his stuff without his father looking. John went in his room and looked over the information and then started filling out the form. He felt that he just made one big step closer to his solution. Then he was done writing. He looked at the form and thought for one moment. He thought about being happy up in New York. He thought about the stage and the play. He thought about Jane.

Chapt 7- Part 2

2010-07-12T16:10:00.002-04:00

John looked at his mother. He knew his mother was thinking about that exact day. John was surprised he still remembered that. He couldn't help it. That moment just popped up. Then remembered what happened right after that. The thing that made him just want to make his dad happy.
"Hey you two! John, what are you doing?"
John looked at his father and told him that he was starting baseball and packing up his musical stuff. His father face turned bright.
"Wow! That is great! What a great thing for you!"
That was the first time he actually saw his dad happy for him. That made him happy, until the day he realized he was never going to be a professional baseball player. The couch kicked him off the team. He unpacked his old music and movies. When his dad saw him doing that, things were never the same. John, today, couldn't figure out why his father never excepted his dreams. John's father came home and found John sitting in his old room, wondering.
"John?"
"Yeah dad?"
"Why couldn't you just listen to me?"
"Because, dad, I grew up. I can't follow your dreams, I have to follow mine."
John finally figured out his mother's powers of making people speechless. Jane was having problems of her own back in New York. Every time that her and Alex had to do a love scene, Jane was scarce. Julianne actually gave up looking for her.
"Ok, rehearsal's over!" Julianne yelled.
Jane popped out of nowhere and grabbed her things. She started to leave but got stopped by Julianne.
"You know, Jane, you can't hide from those love scenes forever."
"I am not. I just..."
"I know you miss John but you both have problems that need to solved. You lied to him, big time. You have to give him time. Plus, he has to solve his problem. Maybe you should follow his idea."
"I don't know."
"You will."

Chapter 7- Part 1

2010-07-01T20:13:00.002-04:00

It had been awhile since John had left. About a month actually. They musical only usually takes a month or two but this was different. Since they had to write the music and lines, it took three months or they had three months. Jane had finally got used to working with Alex. She didn't like it, but she dealt with it. John was at home sitting in his old room, thinking about the past. Jane wanted him back. Every day, since John left, Jane always made sure she past John's old apartment. She hoped that maybe one day, he would come back. John didn't want to go back. He missed Jane but she made the mistake, not him. He had a roadblock. Something inside him just didn't feel right being back home. He didn't feel right not wanting to go back. He felt too safe at home. John looked up at his shelf. It didn't have trophies like other little boys would have up in their room. It was piled high with movies (musicals) and music. The music was all rock and pop. Most was from musicals. He used to get teased for that. For having that kind of stuff. Musicals weren't "manly." John didn't understand when he was a kid. When he was a teen, he definitely understood. John had to change his image. If he didn't, he would be a loser. So, of course, he started playing baseball. He was an ordinary jock. When this happened, John's father was ecstatic. He waited for his son to do sports. He wanted John to be a jock. John's father hated that he like musicals.
"John?" John's mom said as she came in through his squeaky door.
"Yes, mom?"
"What are you doing?"
"Sitting on my old bed. Nothing too exciting so don't worry."
"I mean, what are you doing here?"
"Coming home for awhile. This is what I need."
"Just a month ago you were telling me that you loved it there."
"I never said that. I just said I was performing in a musical."
"And that it is what you wanted to do."
"Not anymore."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Yeah, sure."
"I don't think you so sure. When I say you here, you don't look happy. When you talked to me over the phone, I could hear your smile over the phone."
John didn't answer. He looked at his mother. His mother knew what he wanted. He remembered the conversation when he turned fourteen. He remembered every word.
"Honey, why are you packing away your musical stuff?"
"I'm not into them anymore. I'm going to try out for baseball."
"I thought you liked musicals, though."
"I--I just don't anymore."
"Are you happy when you play baseball?"
"I guess."
"Well, aren't you happy when you watch or play in musicals? Or even play your music?"
"Of course I am. I love them."
"Which one do you love more?"
This is one of the first times that his mother made him speechless.

Chapt 6- Part 5

2010-06-23T15:48:00.002-04:00

Have to make this one short. End of chapter 6. Leave comments on the story.
Jane panicked. She couldn't believe John actually left. He was the only thing left that was good for her, other than the musical. Now, she had to find him. No matter what, she had to find him. John was on his way home. The only place he could really call home. He headed for Ohio, towards his house. He found the street that he knew so well. He started to drive down. All those memories came back. He remembered how he was the outcast that no one liked. He was different and people didn't like that about him. He would learn how to play instruments and watch musicals, plays. There was talk. Then he decided, he would change his image. He started playing baseball. Everyone loved him then. He had all the girls, everything about him changed. Then, he moved out. He wasn't happy doing what his father wanted him to do. So he met Alex. Even though Alex wasn't the best of friend, he changed his life. How Alex did that, well...that is how John met Jane.
Ok, it might seem like John is gay but just because he likes things like that doesn't mean he's gay, ok?? Leave comments!!!

Chapt 6- Part 4

2010-06-22T17:49:00.002-04:00

Jane didn't want to get out of bed when she was supposed to. She had to go to the theater but she didn't want to see John. She had to though. She was the lead. The thing that she has wanted since she had started school. Sadly, she was the lead with John. John, on the other hand, was there early. He needed to talk to someone. Surprisingly, he had to talk to Alex. Alex came through the door and saw John. Alex started heading backstage when he did but John stopped him.
"Wait, Alex!"
"What do you want, John? You have everything! You have the lead and the girl! What more could you possibly want?!"
"I don't want anything. Actually, I giving up a few things. You can have the girl and the part. I don't want this anymore."
"What?" Julianne said as she came out from backstage.
"Julianne, I'm sorry but I can't do this. You deserve better. I can't do this right now. I have my reasons. Alex will be a better actor for this play. Thank you for at least letting me do this. I will be leaving now."
"John! Wait! You can't leave! We finally have the musical up and running! The script and music are finally done! You are a very good actor, please don't leave."
"I'm very sorry. I can't do it. I'm not cut out for this."
"But--"
"No. I have to go now."
Jane finally got down to the theater when John was leaving. John was heading out the door as Jane was heading in.
"Hi." Jane said hopelessly.
"Hi, bye."
"Where are you going?"
"I'm leaving. Alex is getting the lead and you can get Alex. You will be happy with him and plus, you will tell him the truth."
"John..."
"What more could have to say about last night?"
"John, don't leave. Alex is not half as good as actor as you. And I..."
"You what? You will miss me? Well, you should have thought about that before telling me a lie!"
"I don't get along with my parents! They barely talk to me anymore! Ever since their divorce, they haven't tried to contact me! Well, my mom anyway. I told my father never to call me or contact me again."
"I don't want to hear it anymore! If you wanted to tell me, you wouldn't have told me that your parents are dead. I'm going home! So leave me alone."
John finally left and went back to his apartment. Jane watched John leave, knowing she couldn't do anything. John went back to his apartment and started packing up. Jane did her lines with Alex and cried in the bathroom for a while. She decided that she needed to talk to him again. She got off the bathroom floor and took a cab to his apartment. She got to his door and knocked. After a few minutes of waiting, she knocked again. Then, another few minutes passed and she knocked again even harder. When she knocked hard enough, the door opened. She pushed the door open all the way and found the whole apartment cleared out.

Chapt 6- Part 3

2010-06-15T12:26:00.002-04:00

"Jane..." said Lara hesitantly.
"I don't want to do this. Not tonight. I just want to go home."
"Jane?" said Kyle.
"Kyl-Dad, how are you?"
"Fine. I'm going to be taking rehab soon. I just wanted to see you again. Say sorry."
"By coming to my house, drunk? That's doing the same thing you have always done!"
"I'm sorry! I tried! I really didn't plan to get drunk. My buddies were with me...and they saw how tense I was. So, they gave me a drink...and I said no but they wouldn't take that for an answer. So I ended up drunk. I'm really sorry."
"You should have thought about saying sorry a long time ago! What did mom have to say about your little visit? Or do you guys not talk much anymore?"
"Jane, you know--"
"About the divorce, of course I do! How could I forget! You guys got divorced and I moved here! That's part of the reason I'm here! Now, mom barely talks to me unless it's on the phone and you, well you decide to show up at my door drunk! So you know what? I want you to go home, dad! Go home because I don't want you here! I am NEVER going to forgive you for what you did!"
"Jane!" Kyle said as Jane ran down the street.
Jane ran and ran as fast as she could. She knew she could have taken a cab but she didn't care. With all that happened tonight, she just wanted to run. Finally, she made it to her apartment. Jane went inside and fell on her bed and cried. She had that lonely feeling come back to her. So did John. They sat in there apartment and thought about each other. What could they do? John couldn't just forgive Jane for this and Jane knew it. That sad part was, everything was just getting good. They were both finally happy. They should have known that it couldn't last. John stared at the ceiling. Jane did too. They wanted to be with each other but every time they try, something always seems to go wrong. The real question was, should they be together or should they go back to hating each other?

Chapt 6- Part 2

2010-06-15T00:22:00.002-04:00

Jane looked for something in his face. She looked for a face she could read. One that said, "Everything will be alright." Sadly, she couldn't find it.
"This is something you can't keep from a person. Especially someone you want to be in your life! You told me your parents were DEAD! D-E-A-D, DEAD! Last time I checked, that man in there was fully alive! If I have to, I will check his pulse!"
"What do you want me to say?" Jane asked.
"How about sorry?! That would be nice!"
"What do I have to say sorry for?"
"Maybe the fact that you lied to me! Do I even really know you?"
Jane was silent. She knew he was right. Sadly, she was doing the thing she knows best: turning the blame on someone else. John looked at her and said,
"I have enough problems. I don't need yours. Maybe I would be more willing if you just would've told me the truth. I'm sorry. I can't do this song and dance with you. I already had one girl in my life do that to me, I don't need another."
John simply looked at Jane and walked away. He took a cab home. Jane just watched him walk away. She couldn't do anything. She felt hot boiling tears streaming down her face. She was so angry but so sad.
"Jane!" screamed Lara.
"What? Have you come to ruin the rest of my night?"
"I might have to. Why didn't you tell John about your parents?"
"I didn't want him to know about them. Why were you with Kyle?"
"Because! He came to your apartment when you were at rehearsal. That's why I was late last time. He was completely drunk and pounding on your door. I had to sober him up and I let him stay with me. I felt bad and trust me, I was cautious of him. I know what he did to you."
"Why is he with you here?"
"He said he wanted to say sorry for that night so he took me out for a nice dinner. He says he is going to start going to rehab. He wants to stop making the same mistake over and over again with you."
"He should have thought about that many years ago."
"Maybe you should give him a chance!"
"Maybe I shouldn't! He hurt me! He can't take that back now!"

Chapter 6- Part 1

2010-06-14T15:26:00.002-04:00

Enjoy!
***
Jane and John hectically got ready for their date. John was talking Jane to dinner and then who knows what could happen. Jane didn't know what to wear. She tried to get Lara to come over, but she said she had plans tonight. So, she was stuck picking out clothes alone. Jane knew where John was taking her, so she picked out something nice. She thought maybe she was too over dressed but she didn't mind. John picked out a tux and searched around for his wallet. He couldn't stand losing things but, he does it all the time. Finally, he found his wallet and went out to get Jane. Jane went out and waited for John. It wasn't long before he showed up. When he got there, he looked at her and said,
"You look amazing."
"Really? I'm not too over dressed?"
"No, you look perfect."
John grabbed her hand and led her to the cab. John just knew that this night would be great. Or he thought it would be great. They got to the restaurant and started to order. While they were there, Jane was cautious. Every time, so far, that her and John try to be together, something goes wrong. She was on the look out for unsuspecting visitors. Suddenly, John looked over Jane's shoulder and saw Lara.
"Hey, Jane, isn't that Lara over there?" John asked.
She looked behind herself and saw Lara with a man that looked oddly familiar.
"Yes, that is Lara." Jane said with worry creeping up her throat.
"Who's that with her?"
"I-I don't kno-know. Maybe we should just get back to our date."
"Maybe we should go say hi." John said as he got up and went over there.
"John!"
Jane got up and followed him. This is bad, really bad.
"Hey, Lara." John said.
"John? John! Hi! Uh...aren't you supposed to be on a date with Jane?"
"Yes, but I just came over to say hello. Who's this?"
"Kyle Martin."
"Nice to meet you I'm Johnathan Rockman."
John thought for a moment about when Jane finally told him her last name. It was Martin. He thought maybe it was just a coincidence. Jane told him this during rehearsal one day when he begged and told that he couldn't date her if he didn't know her last name.
"Kyle Martin. I know a young woman named Jane Martin."
John looked over at Lara and saw her lipping "No."
"You know my daughter?" said Kyle.
"Daughter? She told me her parents were dead."
"What?" asked both Kyle and Lara at the same time.
Jane finally got up and went over there. Sadly, she was too late.
"Jane? Did you tell this man that I was dead?"
"Dad..." Jane said looking at John.
"Yes, she did." John said with rising anger.
John went back to the table, grabbed his jacket and walked out the door. Jane ran after him.
"John! Wait!"
"No! You lied to me! How could you lie to me about something like this?"
"I...I didn't want you to know about my past."
"Sorry? I told you mine!"
John looked at her. He waited for an answer. He knew he wouldn't get one.

Chapt 5- Part 4

2010-06-12T19:46:00.002-04:00

Ok, I don't usually end a chapter on part 4 but I have to. This part of the story will be short so enjoy. Sorry I'm ending it here. I'm sure it won't be that big a deal so enjoy!
***
Jane and John couldn't stop staring at each other the next day. They just wanted to be alone together again. Jane finally got Alex off her back. He ignored her most of the day until he had to ask her which lines were his. John looked over at Alex and then over at Jane. He smiled at Jane and she smiled back. For once, they were both happy. To think, just a little while ago, they wanted to hated each other so bad. When they thought about it, they didn't mind what happened then. As they grew closer to each other, something inside of them felt real good.
"Jane?"
"Yes, John?"
"You're not doing anything Saturday, are you?"
"Of course not."
"You want to go out again? On a real date this time?"
"Of course I would."
John grabbed her hand and decided not to let go. Everything was fine. Actually, everything was great! What could go wrong? That's what they thought: Nothing could go wrong. Sadly, they were wrong.
Ok, so I kno it's not a long one like usual but there it is. The end of chapter 5. It should be getting juicier soon. Like the end said, things usually don't stay perfect for long. Hoped you liked! Leave comments on the story.

Chapt 5- Part 3

2010-06-09T10:11:00.002-04:00

Jane walked through his door and into his apartment. She felt chills go through her when she walked past John. She felt great around him. She liked that feeling and so did John.
"Do I smell mac and cheese?" Jane asked.
"Um...yes but it was best I could do."
"It's alright; I like mac and cheese."
"Okay."
"So why did you cancel in the first place?"
Jane wanted to know so bad it sort of slipped out. John looked surprised but then sad. He wanted to tell Jane but he was scared.
"I...I was..."
"It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have asked."
"No, I should tell you."
Jane looked up and sort of calmed down a little. She thought maybe he already moved on to another girl but he was talking to a man.
"See, my dad came over. It wasn't planned, he just came over. He decided that it was still alright to take over my life. I want to act and play music. I know it seems weird but, I like being onstage and performing for the musical. My dad just doesn't see that my happiness is more important than his, in this case. I love my dad but I have to follow my own dreams."
"Oh my. I didn't know all that happened. Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm okay now."
He smiled at Jane and just looked at her.
"I never realized you had green eyes."
"Yep, I hate them."
"I think they're beautiful."
Jane blushed. She knew she might be acting like a little teenager again but this time she didn't mind. She was going to let her feelings go wherever they want to go. John didn't mind, he liked that feeling too.
"What did you do at home?" John asked.
"I...can I tell the truth without getting yelled at?"
"Yes."
"Well, I...I was sitting at home and Alex came over. He, again, tried to get me and kissed me."
John felt the sudden urge to punch Alex again.
"Oh." John said while moving away from Jane.
Before John could get to far, Jane grabbed his arm.
"Wait! He kissed me but I didn't feel anything. All I felt was his tongue trying to go down my throat. I pulled away before he could do anything else. I just wanted to tell you the truth."
John looked at her. He tried to be angry at her but her eyes were his weakness. He suddenly moved closer to her.
"I just thought..."
"I know but me and Alex will never be together. We just wouldn't work."
John smiled and still looked at her. His weakness grew stronger and he kissed her. He didn't want to stop. Jane wanted this. They wanted each other.

Chapt 5- Part 2

2010-06-08T22:34:00.002-04:00

John sat down right on his couch. He looked forward, right at his door. He imagined his father coming back and saying it is alright. Sadly, that wasn't going to happen. His father was truly serious. He didn't want to see John's dreams, just his own. John picked up his phone and called Jane.
"Jane?"
"John? I thought you couldn't come."
"I....you....could you come over he--"
"Yes." Jane said quickly.
Jane didn't mean to sound desperate but she really wanted to see him. After everything that happened tonight, she just really wanted to see her. So did he.
"Ok, come on over." John said with a smile in his voice.
John hung up and finally got up from his couch. He ran around his apartment and started setting up a table and making food. He scrounged up some food from his cupboard; mac and cheese and hot dogs. He didn't think it was the greatest dinner but it was the best he could do short notice. He heard someone knock on his door. He opened the door and saw Jane. He never noticed, that much, how beautiful she was. Once he thought it, he said it,
"You look beautiful."
"Thank you but I didn't really dress up all that much. I-I me-mean that it was sh-short notice."
She couldn't understand why she was nervous. Again, that teenager came back to haunt her. Jane didn't want to act like such a little girl around him. She has never really felt this way about a guy. Well, maybe once but, that guy cheated on her.
"Come in. I made some dinner."

Chapter 5- Part 1

2010-06-07T21:27:00.002-04:00

"What do you want Alex?" Jane said with sadness.
"I need to talk to you!"
"Haven't we done enough talking! I don't want you! That's that."
"Ok, I get it. Can I ask a question, though?"
"What?!"
"Where's your new boyfriend? He didn't even show up, did he?"
"That's none of your business! Get out!" Jane screamed so loud that her neighbors knocked on the ceiling and wall.
As she did, Alex got closer. Jane backed away. Sadly, Alex still kept moving closer.
"Alex, I like John. I definitely don't like y--"
Alex kissed her. The first thought that came to her mind was that it felt nothing like kissing John. He was just kissing her; like some kind of stage kiss. It didn't feel real. She actually wanted to feel something because she could tell Alex felt something that she didn't. Jane believed that Alex was just so into her that he really believes there's something. Jane pulled away and shook her head.
"Alex, I can't do this. I don't feel--"
"I understand. John will understand too. He just doesn't get you like I do."
"Huh? No, Alex, I don't feel that way for you. Face it, I'm just not into you like that. You need to go."
Jane pushed him out of her door and left him with a baffled look on his face. She felt like crying again when she shut the door. Part of her wanted to feel the way she did with John, with Alex. Then again, she really likes John. Now she was stuck. John was in a sticky situation himself.
"John, how could you not tell me this?! Can you even do this? You don't even go to this school!" John's father screamed loudly.
"First of all, the director said it was alright if a perform in the musical and not go to school there. Second, I was going to tell you. It just wasn't the right time!"
"When would have been the right time, the day of the musical? Huh? You know, I'm sick of you always telling your mother things and not me. Especially something like this! We could have talked through this! Made sure this stupid musical didn't get in the way of real life!"
"See! That's why I didn't want to tell you, dad! You think that I'm going to be this son that does sports and makes some kind of living off of it but I'm not! I like acting and music! I don't like doing sports, I just like watching them every once in a while! I like to do this stuff; it makes me happy!"
"Well, I'm happy you're happy but you got to think real life, John! This kind of stuff won't get you anywhere! If you were able to get on some kind of scholarship thing and try and go to college for baseball or something--"
"You just don't get it! This is what I want to do with my life! I don't need you to approve! If you don't like it, leave."
John's dad looked at him for a second and then walked towards the door. Before he left, he turned to John and said,
"Fine, screw up your life. See if I care."

Chapt 4- Part 5

2010-06-05T20:48:00.002-04:00

Sorry but I have to make this one short but enjoy!!!
***
Jane was nervous about her date with John. She wasn't sure what to wear or do when he gets to her place. She was digging through her drawers and couldn't find one thing that was casual but not too casual. She just couldn't figure it out. Her phone was ringing but she didn't notice 'till it rang for the second time. Jane picked it up,
"Hello?" Jane asked.
"Hey, Jane! It's me John!"
"Is something wrong?"
"Yes, I can't make it tonight. I have something to deal with tonight."
Jane heard someone screaming in the distance,
"You put down your phone and talked to me, Johnathan!"
It was a man's voice. Jane was surprised but disappointed.
"It's alright, I understand." Jane said coldly.
"I'm really sorry, Jane. I wish...I wish..."
"Put your phone down, NOW!"
"I have to go, bye." John said quickly and hung up.
Jane felt hurt and John felt guilty. Jane sat in her bed and cried. In the middle of crying, Jane heard someone knock on her door. She had a little hope that it was John but when she opened the door, she was even more disappointed. The dreadful face she saw was Alex. John stood there in his apartment, facing his father.
There you go, the end of chapter 4. Be back for chapter 5. Hope you like!!! :)

Chapt 4- Part 4

2010-05-29T10:49:00.005-04:00

***
John and Jane went to the theater together and got there early.
"Jane, why are we here early?" John asked with a smirk.
"To be here early." Jane said as she moved closer.
"Oh."
They started kissing right onstage and kept kissing.
"Well, I'm sorry to interrupt." said Lara.
John and Jane spread apart and looked at her. They didn't have this place all to themselves. Lara stood there with Alex, of all people. Lara just looked at them and John and Jane stood there.
"Sorry, what are you doing here early?" Jane asked.
"Well, I still have to work on the script. Alex with me because he wanted to 'help.' Or in my terms, suck up."
John, Jane, and Lara laughed but Alex retorted,
"Hey! I actually did try! I'm not being a suck up! Jane? Were you just kissing John?"
"Yes, I was. Do you have a problem with that?"
"Uh........no. Of course not."
John and Jane looked at each other and smiled. They couldn't believe they were actually doing this. Sneaking into the theater and making out. Jane realized something. She was acting like a kid again. The old little teenage girl was coming back to haunt her. John, however, didn't see anything wrong with it.
"John, could we talk in private?" Jane asked while pointing to the closet. It was the only place she could find at short notice that was private. John nodded his head and went in the closet after her.
"We have to talk."
"You're not going to break up with me already are you?" John asked.
"No, it's not that. It's just, I don't want to be a kid anymore. I want to actually go on dates and spend time together, not just make out. I mean, I like kissing you but I want a real relationship."
"I understand. Jane, would you like to go out with me this weekend? Just the two of us?"
"Yes, of course I would."
Then, without thinking, Jane kissed him again. She couldn't help it; she liked kissing him. They were kissing just like always. Jane could feel John's hands going down her body and back up. John felt Jane do the same. It would have been perfect if they didn't get called to scene.
"Jane! John!" yelled Alex.
Alex flung the closet door open and found Jane and John on the floor with their shirts half-way off. John and Jane were flushed and completely embarrassed. They hopped up and fixed themselves. They didn't even realize they were on the floor.
"Well, it looks like you two were having fun." Alex said coldly.
Then Jane, little too proud, said,
"Yes, we were."
John started to laugh silently and so did Jane. They got onstage and started there magic.

Chapt 4- Part 3

2010-05-28T16:54:00.002-04:00

"I just wanted to say...." Jane said shaky.
"You just wanted to say?" John said mocking her.
He grinned at her. Jane wasn't expecting a grin. She was expecting anger, definitely not a grin.
"What are you happy about? I could flip out on you and you wouldn't get angry!"
"Yes I would!"
"No you wouldn't!"
"Yes I would!"
Then, they were both smiling.
"What are we doing?" John asked while his smile faded.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, we try and ACT like we don't like each other, but we do. We try to wipe away our feelings, but it doesn't work. Jane, what do we want here? Do we want to be together or don't we?"
John was serious now. He couldn't look at her. If he did, he would be weak and just smile again like nothing's wrong. Jane pondered John's words as she looked at John. He was looking down at the ground now. Jane tried to picture moving on, to someone else other than John. She couldn't picture it, at all.
"I want to be with you John but.....I don't know if I really care about you."
"So when you kissed me, you were just faking it?"
"No! When we kissed, it was amazing!"
"Then what is the problem?"
"You are! You're so amazing and talented. It's not you, it's me."
Jane immediately covered her mouth when she said that. It was the ultimate break-up line. The one that says, I don't care.
"Oh, I see." John sounded hurt.
"Wait, that's not what I meant! John I really care about you! I can't stop thinking about you. Ever since we kissed, that's all I could think about."
Jane stepped towards him. She didn't have much hope when he stepped back.
"I know, I haven't stopped thinking about you. But what happened to, 'He's a total jerk!' huh? If I have been hurting you, then why would you want to be with me?"
"Because I like YOU! Not Alex or any other guy! Just you."
John looked at Jane. He didn't know how he felt. Jane felt excited, nervous, and angry all at the same time. It was strange, but they smiled at each other.
"I'm willing to take that chance if you are." John said lightly with a smile.
"Yes, I am willing."
John, stepped closer to her and kissed her. It felt exciting and wonderful. The feeling just couldn't go away. That stood there, kissing, 'till someone said it was time to lock up the theater for the night. John and Jane went out of the theater, hand in hand, and went home together. They kissed each other goodnight and went their separate ways. All night, all they could think about was each other.

Chapt 4- Part 2

2010-05-27T22:04:00.002-04:00

John went backstage and went to get a script. He realized that it wasn't completely done.
"Julianne, I thought you said the scripts were done?"
"Well, I was lying to get you back. Plus, I wanted to start what they had done, at least."
John and Jane took the stage as they read the script. Jane was trying so hard to focus on the script but she kept looking up to see John. John did realize this but didn't look at her when he smiled.
"Alright. This scene is the first scene. We'll have music, of course. You two have chemistry the moment you meet, all because of music. The music is on there for you to read when the song comes on. Ok, let's do this."
Julianne puts here finger and Jane starts,
"Well, I have never been here before." acting to talk to herself.
"If you don't like it, I would leave." John said startling Jane.
"Why should I leave? You don't if I like it or not. Is this an auditorium here?"
"I guess you can say that. More like a theater, though. It's for musicians and actors only. Unless you're here to see a musical or play, please live. If you're not an actor or musician, you just don't belong here."
"I haven't really been into music all that much. I have never had time for music."
"Not have time for music? That's impossible. Music is all around you, even when you can't here it, it's there."
"Well, obviously I don't belong here. Good--"
"My name's Charlie by the way."
"Oh, my name's Sadie."
"Don't give up on music. It can change you. It might just live in you, deep down. See ya around."
John walks off stage. Then, everyone clapped and cheered for the both of them.
"Lara, that was a great scene. It got straight to the importance of music and how it can change you. It will show a great difference at the end when she is changed by music. Great job!" Julianne said.
Jane suddenly ran offstage and stopped right in front of John.
"You know you can't avoid me forever." Jane said with a grin.
"I don't think it's me that can't avoid people. I am actually pretty good at it. What do you think I did with my dad half my life?"
John looked angry but was truly happy that Jane talked to him, even after avoiding her. Jane's face got red. She didn't know what to say. If she admitted that she liked him, he might not feel the same way. The thing was, John did feel the same way.

Chapter 4- Part 1

2010-05-25T16:08:00.002-04:00

***
John woke up the next day and sat in bed. He didn't know if he should go down to the theater. He wanted to but he didn't. He got up and went to a bar. John didn't know what else to do. Jane was at the theater. She was to busy panicking to think. She was trying to look for John everywhere. She couldn't find him. As much as she didn't want to talk to him, she went to ask Alex where he was.
"Alex, where's John?"
"How should I know?"
"I thought......" Jane wondered.
Then, she realized why Alex did that. After that, she hit him.
"Julianne!" Jane called out to her director.
"Jane, look, I will be back. I am just going to go take a break. Ok, bye!"
Julianne walked away and out the door. Jane wanted to follow but she couldn't. John must have believed he was fired. Jane couldn't think of any other reason why he wouldn't come, he loved it at the theater. She knew he did. Just by the way he looks when he's there. John was at the bar, trying to think. He wondered what he would do now that he had to get another job. This scared him. He couldn't imagine being anywhere else but the theater.
"John. Hello."
John looked over and saw Julianne.
"Ms. Margo. I'm sorry for what happened yesterday, I was just being stupid."
"First of all, call me Julianne. You know my name. Second, Alex deserved what he got. He has never been that good of an actor anyway. You're still doing the musical and you still have your job."
"Why?"
"Why? Well, when I see a good actor, I don't want to lose him."
"Julianne, I don't even go to the school. How can I perform in this musical?"
"That's for me to deal with. I know you should have went to school sooner but I think you should apply for starting next year. Just think about it while I drive you back to the theater. We don't want to leave everyone waiting. The scripts are done and are ready to be used."
John smiled and didn't ask any other questions. He was just happy to be going back to the theater. Jane was still panicking when they got there. When they walked through the door, she smiled with relief. John was staying. Jane wanted to talk again so she went over to John. John saw her coming his way and decided to go backstage. He completely passed her. He felt hurt as he did.

Chapt 3- Part 6

2010-05-24T21:18:00.002-04:00

"I don't want to talk to you, at all. I want no part of you." Jane said very bluntly to Alex.
"Do you mean that for me or for John?"
"I definitely mean it for you."
"Why? What did I do that was so bad? I flirted with your friend, so what?"
"The big deal is that you knew how I felt about you and you still flirted with her! I believed in you! I thought I could trust you. Sadly, I can't. Just leave me alone!"
"No, I like you a lot! I'm not letting you go! Don't you dare just walk away!"
"I can do whatever I want! You have no right to tell me what to do! I'm my own person, with or without a boyfriend! You can't just expect me to run after you! You're not worth it. You're not worth the trouble of being hurt. You're a jerk, just like the rest of them. You know, girls don't look for the same guy over and over again. They hope for a guy that can prove them all wrong."
Jane suddenly felt tears coming out of her eyes. That's how she felt with John. She didn't want to admit it. She wanted to hate John but she couldn't. John heard everything and then, did the thing he had been holding back to do. He knew what he was risking but, he didn't care. John punched Alex right in the stomach. After he did it, he ran. He couldn't believe he did that or why he did it. John hopped in a cab and went home. He was too scared to hear Julianne fire him. Not only from the musical but from his actual job. He needed that job. The sad part was, he was happy there. This was the one job he actually liked. Even if it was just backstage, he liked it. Most of the other jobs he had, he ended up getting fired from because of how unhappy he was. He couldn't turn back now, though. He just wanted to scream. Jane was to surprised to go. She couldn't move. Everyone was helping Alex, except for Lara.
"Jane, are you alright?" Lara asked.
"I don't know. What just happened?"
"John just punched Alex in his gut for you."
Jane didn't do anything but laugh. Lara almost laughed with her but was still concerned.
"Why are you laughing?"
"I don't know. I just can't believe that happened. I need to talk to Julianne."
Jane stopped laughing and went to find Julianne. She wasn't hard to find since she was with the crowd of people that were gathered around Alex.
"Julianne, we have to talk about John. You can't fire him. He was just--"
"I'm not going to fire him from the musical or his job. He doesn't deserve that. I think this dumb ass deserved what he got. Don't think anything bad. Just let me talk to him, ok?"
Jane smiled,
"Ok."

Chapt 3- Part 5

2010-05-24T15:53:00.002-04:00

***
John and Jane were at the theater before everyone else. They wanted to talk, but they were scared. John got there and saw Jane. She leaped off the chair when she saw him come in.
"What are you doing here early?" John asked.
"I was waiting for you. I.....I need to talk to you."
John stiffened when he heard those words. Every time he heard his old girlfriends say that, he knew that it either met, 'I don't like you anymore' or 'I don't want to be with you anymore.'
"About what?"
"About that kiss. Both kisses."
"Oh.......I was just.......I just.....ugh...." John hesitated.
John couldn't figure out what to say. He wanted to say everything he felt but then he thought he would be a little to straight forward. Then he thought he could just say that he didn't mean it but he did and he was afraid she did care.
"John I really liked it. I don't know if you feel the same way but I do like you. So....."
"So you just left me for Alex. Right after we kissed. You left me for the second time after we kissed. Thanks. That felt great."
"I'm sorry. I didn't think he would show up and I still had feelings for Alex. I have known him longer than you!"
"Had? Do you still have feelings for Alex?"
Jane paused. She did but she didn't want to admit it. She just wanted everything between her and John to be over with. Sadly, she knew it wasn't that simple. Jane had to say the truth. She was a horrible liar even though she was an actress. When she was actually lying, you could tell be the look in her face when she lied. When she was acting, she would get so in to the character, no one would even know who she was.
"Well, I still have feelings Alex but not big ones." She lied.
John knew she lied, just by looking at her face.
"Oh, yea. You totally don't have strong feelings for Alex. To think I actual thought you liked me and I....I....nevermind."
"John, I have known Alex since I got here! Why should I just let my feelings for him go?"
"If you really liked me, you wouldn't be asking that question. You should just know. I hope you have a wonderful life with Alex! No need to talk to me unless we're rehearsing."
John simply walked backstage and started working. He still had his job backstage, even though he can barely do it. Jane just sort stood there, dumbfounded. She thought if she just talk to him, it would all be better. It wasn't. She actually made it worse. Jane walked away and sat back down in the chair. Everyone started to pile in the theater but Jane still sat there. Then, Alex came up to her and said,
"Can we talk?"

Chapt 3- Part 4

2010-05-23T22:06:00.002-04:00

Jane felt tears burning her eyes but she didn't cry. If she had cried, she would had proved that she liked John. John was talking to Lara. Then, Jane had a thought of John and Lara kissing. Just like John, it didn't make her feel better. She went up to Lara and didn't look at John. She pulled Lara aside and said,
"What's up with you and John?"
"Nothing, we were just talking. Why do you care?"
"I don't."
Jane felt a smile on her face. She didn't want to smile but she did. She knew Lara would found out why she's smiling. Jane tried so hard not to smile. She looked over at John. When John saw her smile, he smiled himself. Then, Alex came over to him.
"You'll never get her. She'll always like me."
"I thought you said...."
"I was just trying to impress Jane. Good luck, she likes me."
John thought of punching Alex again. He didn't. He just looked at Jane. He thought about her. He thought about kissing her. She thought about him. She thought about kissing him too.
Look, sorry this one's short. I will type more tomorrow.

Chapt 3- Part 3

2010-05-23T12:43:00.003-04:00

"Alex!" screamed Jane.
"Yes?"
"We need to talk."
Jane pulled him aside and started to tell Alex what she heard from Lara. Jane knew by now that Alex was a bad liar. So she asked,
"Did you ask Lara out even though you knew how I felt about you?"
"Well....."
"Did you?"
"Well....yes. But it meant nothing. I just thought she was better at the time. Now, I like you."
Jane looked at him, then she laughed.
"Oh, I see. I guess Lara and John were right, you are a jerk. Goodbye."
Jane walked away but Alex followed. He started to say,
"Jane, I like you! You should know that. I want you, not anyone else. Please, give me another chance."
"No. I can't believe I was so stupid. Thinking you were any better than John."
"Oh so John and I are in the same category now?"
"No, John's actually better than you."
"How's that?"
"He's real. You're a fake."
Jane finally got away from Alex and went on a search for John. She wanted John. This time, she wouldn't be scared. Sadly, John was talking to Lara.
"Lara, how's that script coming along?" John asked.
"Oh, fine, I guess. I'm not the best when it comes to scripts but I had help." Lara said as she waved to Liam.
"Is he your boyfriend?"
"No, but I like him. He's a nice guy. I'm getting to know him."
"Well, that's good."
"John, Jane told me what happened last night. I sort of freaked out on her for doing so."
"Well, you don't need to freak out on her. She seemed pretty happy with Alex. Whatever makes her happy, that's what she should go for."
"Do you just want to see her happy?"
"Yes, I guess I do. She should be happy. Plus, I'm not the kind of guy that can make a girl happy. I can barely hold a job, let alone get a girl."
"You do make Jane happy. She just doesn't know it. And I think you are the kind of guy that can make a girl happy. You just have to make her smile."
John looked at Lara and realized she was right. As much as he might hate to admit it. She was right. Jane smiled in the cab. Jane smiled at him, for no reason. John smiled at Lara as she said that. Then, John remembered kissing Jane. It felt amazing. He's never felt that way when he kissed her. He just wanted to kiss her again. He wanted to see her again. He wanted her. She wanted him. Then, Jane saw John with Lara.

Chapt 3- Part 2

2010-05-22T23:02:00.002-04:00

***
Jane and John woke up and headed down to the theater. John wasn't to pleasant to go down, so he tried to ignore Jane. Jane wanted to talk to John. She had to talk to him. She kept thinking about his eyes and his lips. His blue eyes were so intense but so calm when you actually look at them. His lips were so soft. John was thinking the same thing about Jane. Her brown eyes are so innocent, yet so beautiful and hard not to look at. Her lips were soft and warm. John tried to shake off all thoughts of her. Jane didn't want to. She found John talking to Julianne. Probably about the musical, she assumed. Jane started for him, but got stopped by Lara.
"Jane! You never came back 'till late last night. What happened?"
"Nothing." said Jane.
She could feel the story burning her insides. Jane wanted to tell her. So, Lara asked again,
"Come on Jane, what happened?"
"Well, I went with John to his apartment to help with ideas for the musical. We talked for about five minutes, then we kissed. After that, Alex knocked on the door and told me how he felt about me. Then, I left with Alex and went home."
Lara looked at Jane for a long time. Jane was out of breathe. She said it as fast as she could. Lara finally said,
"You left John? You left him, again, after you guys kissed? Because of Alex?!"
Her voiced raised higher after each word. She looked angry. Why is she angry at me? Jane didn't understand why she was angry. She still hadn't realized what she had done wrong. That was bad.
"What?" Jane asked.
"Jane! Why did you go with Alex? You had just kissed John and you went with Alex! How could you do that to John? No wonder he called you a jerk! I knew Alex was a jerk since the day we met him. I guess you two do belong together!"
"Alex is NOT a jerk! He's a nice guy! I couldn't just say no to Alex! He was here way before John. Plus, John's a jerk!"
"If John's such a jerk, then why did you guys kiss? And Alex is a jerk, he flirted with me the first time we met him. Then, when you weren't looking or listening, he asked me out. He knew how you felt about him. I said no and tried to convince you he's a jerk without telling you. You wouldn't believe me. So, when John came along, I thought you finally saw but you're being just as stupid as before."
Lara walked away without an answer from Jane. Jane felt like she was ripped in half. Without thinking, she went to find Alex. She had to know the truth. If it was, Lara's right.

Chapter 3- Part 1

2010-05-22T17:13:00.002-04:00

Again, enjoy!!!
"Hello? Is anyone in there?" Alex screamed.
John and Jane looked at each other. They didn't want to answer. They just wanted it to be them, no one else. Sadly, John looked away and said,
"Come in, I guess."
He walked through the door and saw John and Jane sitting on the couch together. Jane was able to realize that John looked a little flushed. She must have looked like that too.
"Hey, John. Look, I'm sorry for what I said a few days ago and today. That was mean. I just really like Jane."
Jane heard those words and about jumped off the couch. She couldn't believe Alex said that. John suddenly felt like he wanted to punch Alex. Bad part is, he didn't. He just looked over at Jane and saw she was so happy. She was happy because of Alex, not him. Instead of punching Alex, he felt like he just got punched in the stomach by Jane. Then, John had the image of them, Alex and Jane, kissing. It didn't make him feel any better. Jane was smiling. She wasn't smiling because of John, but because of Alex. She completely disregarded John and said, to Alex,
"Really?"
"Really. Would you like to come home with me?"
"We were working together." said John quickly.
"I'm sure you can come up with some ideas on you're own. You sure did today. I'll just go with Alex, it's no big deal."
Now, John felt a bullet. Why was she torturing him?
"Ok, see you tomorrow." John said coldly.
Jane walked out the door with Alex. Right as she did, she realized what she had done. She had did the same thing she did the day she had her audition. She walked away. Jane went out with Alex and got in the car with him.
"So, what were you two doing up there?"
"Nothing." Jane said quickly.
"Doesn't sound like nothing."
"We were just trying to think of ideas for the musical."
"Oh, did you figure something out?"
"Yes, we did."
"And?"
Jane just looked at Alex and felt her mind still back at John's apartment. She remembered his face. So serious but still sweet. She wanted to go back up there. It was so much easier when it was just the two of them. John was up in his apartment feeling like dirt. She left him alone and confused. They kissed, again, and she left, again. This time, she left with Alex. Alex, the guy he wanted to punch in the face. Then, he thought of Jane and Alex kissing again. He tried to imagine Jane punching Alex after but it just wouldn't happen. Alex was perfect. He is everything she would want. As he got into his bed, he thought about Jane and their kiss. So did Jane. They both thought the same thing, they wanted to kiss again.

Chapt 2- Part 6- end of chapt 2

2010-05-21T21:44:00.002-04:00

Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!
"Why do you want to stick to love?" asked John with a shaky voice.
"I don't know. It's the only thing that makes sense, I guess. If the girl is me, you can show me music. Do you know any good music?" she asked stupidly as she looked over at his cds and found a guitar sitting next to them.
"You play guitar?"
"I'm learning. I know how to play piano."
"Wow....I didn't know you could do all this."
"All what?"
Jane realized what she said and blushed a little. She felt like she was still in high school and crushing on the coolest guy in school. John wanted to know what she was going to say. He wanted to hear her voice. He couldn't help but love her voice. Again, he shakes that thought.
"Well, you know your music, you can play instruments, you can act.....why can't you go to college?"
"I....I wanted to go to a certain college but my father wouldn't let me. He made me apply for all the sport colleges. When they said no, I left home and got a job. I went through a few, as you can see. I was working backstage at some small town theater and that's where I met Alex. He said he could get me job somewhere else, so I went with him. I didn't have many friends so it was nice for someone to talk to me."
"You can talk to me." said Jane.
Jane and John looked at each other. They just wanted to get close enough to....
"I....we.....we should probably start on ideas for the musical." John said pulling away.
"Yes, we should."
They start to talk about the musical, no matter how much they realized they're alone. It was just them, John and Jane, alone in John's apartment, with nobody to bother them. They wanted to just like each other but they couldn't understand why they were holding back. It was as if they were scared to let love in. Then, they looked at each other, and they couldn't look away. When that happened, they kissed. This time, they don't fake it at first. They wrap each others arms around each other and didn't let go. Then-- A knock came upon the door so loud. They spread apart.
"Is anyone in there?" cried Alex.

Chapt 2- Part 5

2010-05-20T12:36:00.002-04:00

Jane and John were sitting in the car, silent. They couldn't figure out what they should say to each other. Sadly, the silence was getting to much to bare. Quickly, Jane asked,
"What's your place like?"
"It's just like a palace."
John said it sarcastically but Jane laughed. When she did laugh, she shocked herself and John. John looked over at her and started to look her up and down. Jane noticed he was looking and said,
"What?"
"Nothing, just looking."
"Well, if you like to look so much, why don't you take a picture?"
Jane smirked and so did John. They wanted to hate each other so bad but it was hard, for all the wrong reasons. Jane couldn't help but smile every time that John looks over at her. Why did she want to hate a guy that she likes? John asked the same questioned to himself when they finally got to his place. They went up and Jane was surprised at the space.
"Wow, my apartment only has a bathroom, living room, and kitchen. I don't even have a bed room."
"Well, this is my place. Nothing special about it."
"It is nice. So other than the idea at the theater, what other ideas do you have? You seem to have a lot."
"I try. Maybe we can convince Julianne to make us brother and sister in the musical." John says with no confidence.
"Or maybe we can just stick to love."

Chapt 2- Part 4

2010-05-18T17:55:00.003-04:00

John tried his hardest to shake off that thought. He couldn't let go of the past. He couldn't let go of his father. John wanted to follow his own dreams but it was hard when he has had his dad watching his back. Jane then said,
"Well, you do have the attitude of an athlete." she laughed.
"You have the mind of a cheerleader. Let's just get to work."
"You're right, have you thought of any ideas?" asked Julianne, who appeared out of nowhere.
"Well, no. Maybe the main character can be at struggle to find where they truly fit. It can be a girl. She never thought she was that into music until.......I don't know. I'm still stuck."
"That's a great place to start, though." said Julianne joyfully.
"Who are you talking about, the character or you?" whispered Alex, who also came out of nowhere.
"Shut up. I don't see you coming up with anything. Why don't you try and think of more of the story. What do you think I should ask?"
"Maybe there should be love. You two are the leads, so there has to be love."
"That's a great idea Alex. That's what your character will do, John. You will introduce her character to music and the music will bring you closer. The girl will find out she belongs with the music." said Julianne.
"Why can't he just be my brother in the musical. Instead of love, the family gets closer?"
"No. People love anything to do with love. Where's Lara?"
"I'm here!"
"Lara, get ready on that script. You're our best to do this. Liam will help you. Alright, you all are ok to go home."
John grabbed his things and walked out the door. Jane quickly grabbed her stuff and followed John.
"Why are you following me?"
"I thought that maybe we could get together and make up some of the story. Lara's my friend so I can tell her any ideas we might have."
"You want to come back to my place?"
"We could go back to mine or stay here and work."
"You know what, let's go to my place."
Jane and John felt their stomachs when John said that. John couldn't believe that Jane had just asked to come back to his place. Jane couldn't believe it either.

Chapt 2- Part 3

2010-05-17T21:17:00.002-04:00

John pulled out his phone and called his parents. Luckily, his mom picked up.
"John, hello?" his mom said quickly.
"Mom, we need to talk."
"If this is about another job--"
"No, actually.....mom I'm doing something else. I still have a job backstage, but I also have another. Not an actual job but I'm doing something I like."
"What would that be?"
"I'm performing in a musical."
His mom was silent. He knew she had no problem. She was worried about someone else.
"That's wonderful. Have you told your father?"
"No, I haven't. But I will."
Jane was listening in, as usual, and only heard part of the conversation. She was intrigued. Then she remembered another thing that Julianne had said. She had problems so John must have them too.
"Was that your mother?"
"Yes. Now leave me alone. Remember, you can't stand me. Don't try and be my friend now. I'm sure your parents are annoying too."
"My.....my parents died in a car crash when I was eleven. I leaved with my grandparents after that."
"Oh.......sorry......I didn't--"
"It's alright. I'm where I am today because they always told me to follow my dreams."
"Not my parents. Well my dad, anyway. He always wanted me to be his star athlete. I didn't want to but, I wanted to make him happy."
John realized, for once, he was happy. Being where he belonged, made him happy. Letting go of his past, now that was going to be hard.
I know it's shorter than usual but I don't think anyone will notice. Enjoy!!! And leave comments on my story!!

Chapt 2- Part 2

2010-05-16T20:37:00.002-04:00

***
When the next day came, Jane woke up immediately. She got changed and went straight to the theater. John woke up and took his time to get ready. He didn't seem to care anymore. He believed that he quit the musical. He still wanted to see if he had his job. So they both made it to the theater but got there to find everyone huddled up in a group onstage. Jane went up to Lara and John followed her to find out what's going on.
"What's going on?" Jane asked.
"We have to change the musical. Some other school is performing it on broadway this year."
"Why can't we stick with our musical? We're not doing it on broadway!"
"Julianne was going to surprise us, but now we have to think of a different musical. There's a bunch out there but she wants to WOW the viewers."
"Why don't we create are own musical?" asked John.
Everyone looked at him when he said it. Julianne looked intrigued. Jane smiled, without thinking about yesterday.
"That's a great idea! We should make our own musical!"
"So does that mean we're recasting?" asked Alex.
"No. There's no time! We must start creating our musical! John, since it's your idea, what should we name it?"
"Umm........wait.........what about 'I Love Where I Am?'"
Julianne smiled and Jane looked at Julianne. She remembered what Julianne had said yesterday. Maybe John was happy, thought Jane.
"That's sounds wonderful! You're still our lead, if you want. Jane you may keep your part if he leaves. Let's get started."
Everyone broke apart and started working on ideas for the musical. Jane and John, however, were still standing onstage.
"John, you don't have to quit the musical. I'll figure out how to work with you. You're not that bad. I've probably been worse....." Jane broke off.
"Truthfully Jane, you have been that bad. You never let me talk to you after that audition. Just us two. You never gave me a chance."
"You told Alex that you had no feelings after that kiss. If you were lying, then that your loss. Let's just do the musical together, without killing each other, ok?"
"Whatever you say your highness." John said trying so hard not to act hurt.
The sad part was, Jane was right. She knew that John said that because of Alex and his reputation. John started to see how much this reputation kept him from what he loved. Plus who he loved, like his family, wouldn't love what he loved either.

Chapter 2- Part 1

2010-05-15T12:15:00.002-04:00

Enjoy!!!!!
John and Jane sat backstage, silent. They wouldn't look at each other or talk to each other. Alex and Lara sat there with them, not knowing what to say. Alex was extremely angry and Lara was concerned.
"Well, at least you got the lead." Lara said hopefully.
"Yes, Lara, I got the lead. Sadly, I'm sharing it with a guy who only cares about his own feelings and no one elses."
"Excuse me? I'm sorry that your director just had to make me try out with you! There was nothing I could do about it, ok? And who really only cares about their own feelings?" yelled John.
"Don't talk to her like that!" Alex screamed right back.
"I will talk to her anyway I want! Jane, I'm sorry I am good at acting. I can't do anything about this! I came here to work backstage and look where it got me! You know what? Just to make everyone happy I will quit the stupid musical and my job!"
"John don't quit your job, just the musical." said Alex.
"Oh, I see. You want the lead so you can make out with your girlfriend! Well go right ahead! Let me tell you something, she's not worth it! Take the lead, Alex. I don't want to talk to you anymore! You're the real jerk here!"
John walked out and went home. Jane was to shocked to say anything. Then Julianne walked backstage.
"If he walks out, then you have to. Jane, you're a great actress and you have problems. When you were up there, you were happy. And you know what? John was even more happy than you."

Part 5-end of Chapter 1

2010-05-09T11:08:00.003-04:00

Enjoy!!! :)
"You got the part of Captain von Trapp."said Alex to John.
"Jane, you got the part of Maria." said Lara to Jane.
Both Jane and John were confused. They couldn't understand how they got the part. John had to get out of this. He still couldn't ruined his reputation. Jane had to get John out of this; she couldn't perform with him.
"Julianne!" screamed John.
John started running for the director. He ran to her and when he finally got to her, he was out of breathe.
"What?" Julianne asked.
"I can't be the main character! I'm supposed to be working BACKSTAGE, not ONSTAGE! This whole acting thing is just not my thing, I'm sorry."
"Listen to him!" yelled Jane.
"Why should I listen to him?"
"I told you yesterday, Ms. Margo, we can't work together!"
"You must be able to work together. You just got the leads. Obviously, you can work together. So, you to are going to be in this musical, whether you want to or not."
Jane and John shrugged. They looked at each other and realized that they would be doing the musical together. The funny thing was, they were not happy but when they looked at each other, they smiled.
This is the end of chapter one so I hoped you liked!! (sorry about spelling errors)

Part 4

2010-05-08T10:28:00.002-04:00

As always, enjoy! (sorry for spelling errors)
"Jane!" yelled John.
Sadly, Jane wouldn't turn around. She tried so hard not to cry but she couldn't help it. I don't even know him....he just another jerk of a guy. Jane couldn't push herself to turn around. She knew by tomorrow that it would all blow over and everyone would forget about it. John didn't want to forget about it.
"Well, great! Look what you have done now, John!" screamed Alex.
"I see what I have done but you weren't much help!"
"At least you don't have feelings for her."
"Ugh......Alex, I do have feelings for her! I just wanted you off my back so I can talk to her!"
"Just one kiss and you think you have feelings for her? That's ridiculous! Your life isn't some kind of movie!"
"No it's not some kind of movie but when I kissed Jane......it was like nothing I have ever felt before.....and......"
"Even if you felt something, Jane didn't, so there!"
"Whatever you say Alex. I'm going back home. See ya."
John quickly ran out of the theater and grabbed a cab home. When he got there, he looked around at his apartment. It was medium sized apartment, with a bathroom, kitchen, living room, and bedroom. Until today, he never realized how lonely it is in his apartment. Jane was home too, thinking the same thing. Her apartment was much smaller than John and only had a bathroom and kitchen. Her bed was in her living room and she had a small sofa in the corner. Lara lived next door but has a key to Jane's apartment to get her up in the morning. John and Jane went to sleep, awaiting the next day with bad feelings in the pit of their stomachs.
* * *
The next day rolled in and John and Jane immediately woke up and went down to the theater. Jane was in no mood to check what part she got because she knew she hadn't gotten a good one. John didn't even think to check because he didn't believe he really tried out. When they got there, everyone was crowded up against the wall where the list was posted. Jane simply looked over at everyone and decided not to look. John went to find Jane. When he did find her, he started to scream,
"Ja--"
Sadly, he was grabbed by Alex, who looked even angrier than before.
"Did you see the list?" asked Alex.
"No, why?"
Alex grabbed John again and headed towards the list. Surprisingly, Lara was doing the same with Jane. Both of them got to the list at the same time. They looked at each other then at the paper. Then, at the same time, they say,
"I got the lead?"

Part 3

2010-05-07T18:23:00.002-04:00

Please enjoy!
"That kiss, that's what! That was no stage kiss!" said Lara.
"Yes that was! And even if it was real, it didn't mean anything! I HATE HIM!"
"Obviously you don't hate him--"
"Yes I do! I can't stand him!"
Jane tried so hard to convince Lara but mostly herself. Plus she knew she wasn't getting the part she wanted now. Why is John such a jerk? Meanwhile, John was sorting through his own feelings. John couldn't understand what happened, or why he couldn't stop thinking about that kiss. What was also running through his mind was the fact that he just acted, onstage, and in front of people.
"John!" Alex yelled in anger.
"What?"
Alex pinned John up against the wall and screamed,
"You just kissed Jane right after I told you I had feeling for her!"
"First you all, it was just a kiss, nothing more. Secondly, I don't have feelings for her!"
John realized that the last sentence came out shaky and fake. I can't have feelings for her, she is a jerk! John shakes his head, turns around, and sees Jane and Lara.
"Well....if you don't have feelings for me then ok." Jane says while she turns back to the exit.
"Jane!"
John starts to run for her and Jane finally sees him running.
"What do you want? I told you I don't mind. I don't having feelings for you either."
"I just wanted to.....wait.....did you just say you don't have feelings for me?" he said a bit hurt.
"Yes."
John looked at Jane, a bit confused. He still couldn't understand what just happened and he figured out the something. When he said 'I don't have feelings for her,' he lied.
"Look, I have to get home. Later." Jane said very monotonous.
As she walked away, she felt her eyes burn with tears.

Part 2

2010-05-06T16:36:00.002-04:00

Enjoy! (sorry for spelling errors)
"Julianne.....I can't do my audition with him. He's a jerk." said Jane.
"That's it! You two are going up now!"
John happened to already be up instage but that's because he didn't move.
"What do you suppose we perform, Ms. Margo?"
"The first thing that comes to you. I'll give you the scene, just get up onstage."
Jane makes her way up to the stage and almost trips on her way up. Jane was completely humilliated. She thought this was her day but now, she wasn't so sure about that. John, this is all his fault, she thought as she finally made it up to the stage. She thought she wasn't get the part now.
"Ms. Margo?"
"Yes, John?"
"Look, I work backstage and I don't do the whole acting thing."
John lied. He did think acting was interesting. Part of him wanted to stay onstage but his reputation denied it.
"I don't care if you're into it or not, your doing the audition. Here is your scene: You two are falling in love but deny because you two believe you're not meant to be. Act the scene how ever you want"
"Please don't mess this up for me." whispered Jane.
Then John smirked at her and said,
"What are our names?"
"Use your own." said Ms. Margo.
Then John finally started,
"Jane, you know how I feel about you. It just wouldn't work. We wouldn't work."
"You're probably right but what if we were something? What if end up together forever?"
"We won't."
"You never know 'till you try."
"All of a sudden you want to try? I told you Jane, my life is too complicated for you right now. I can't be in love with you."
Jane leaned in closer and said softly,
"I'm in love with you. And I'll always be in love with you."
And then, they kissed. As many called a stage kiss. At first it was fake but then more feeling was put in. Before they knew it, they both had each others arms wrapped around each other and were kissing passionately. They both had pounding hearts and blury minds. Finally, after what seemed like decades, they pulled away and suddenly realized they were still onstage. Life completely purred right back into their minds.
"Wonderful, you may go." said Ms. Margo with much enthusiasm.
Jane immediately turned around and headed out the door. Lara quickly followed her out.
"What was that?" she asked.
"What was what?"
Jane's mind was completely full with questions. John's was too. John couldn't think straight and couldn't believe what just happened. They both were completely and utterly confused but strangely......happy.
Hope you enjoyed, see ya!!!

Chapter 1- Part 1

2010-05-04T19:57:00.002-04:00

i know i said that i would be putting chapter two on here but i realized wat i typed was more an introduction. so this is my chapter one!!
John kept walking toward the theater with one thought on his mind, he must do good on his job. Him and Alex both walked into the theater and John immediately went back stage. Alex went to talk to Jane, who happened to be onstage. All of the people auditioning were supposed to wait onstage. John just happened to listen in on their conversation.
"He didn't mean it. And if he did, he was just being a jerk. Just ignore him."
"I--"
"I meant everything I said and you know what? I just realized I'm not the only jerk here." yelled John.
Jane was surprised to actually see John angry about this whole thing. She didn't know John all that well but she guessed that he wasn't the kind of guy to hold grudges. She was completely wrong.
"Don't you dare judge me! You don't even know me!" Jane yelled back.
"STOP!" screamed the director.
Jane and John looked over at her and both silenced. Even though the director yelled, she smirked at them and said,
"You two must be auditioning together."
"N--" they both started but got cut off by the director.
"If you're not, then you are now."
"But--"
"No buts. I'm the director, Julianne Margo and I say that you are auditioning together."
There you go! hope you like!

Part 4

2010-05-02T14:47:00.002-04:00

Sorry for spelling errors and try to enjoy the story!
"Dude, get over it. Do you want to be her boyfriend?"
"Maybe I do so leave me alone!"
"Well at least she is hot. Her friend is too."
"Look...I like Jane because she is smart, funny, and wonderful. Not just because she is hot."
"Whatever."
John rolled is eyes and started for the theater. He was amazed by the huge theater. Even though he was just working back stage, he did like the theater. Though, he would never admit it. John made sure he was able to keep his reputation of being the 'cool' guy. He couldn't be into music or acting. In many people's eyes, that was lame. Except for those like Jane. Jane loved music and acting. She wasn't afraid to be herself for anyone. She was strong for herself but wasn't completely bullet proof. These two were soon going to figure out that they were more a like than they thought. No matter how much they might not like each other.
Now next time i will write more and it will be chapter 2. Hope you enjoyed and sorry for spelling and grammer errors.

Part 3

2010-05-01T18:34:00.002-04:00

Sorry for blank post......here is more story and sorry for spelling errors.
Jane started to quickly woalk over to the two gentlemen.
"Come on, Lara!"
"Wait!"
Jane turned around and saw Lara still trying to catch up. When Lara did catch up, she said,
"Jane, what are you doing?" Running for your crush is a little weird, don't you think?"
"Nope."
"Ugh..."
"Think about it! Alex can be mine and his friend can be yours!"
" You sound like a sixteen year-old again!"
"Well, I never said I was perfect."
Jane started to run again, even faster than before. Then, she and Lara finally got to the young men.
"Alex, nice to see you." said Jane.
"Nice to see you too, Jane. Let me interduce you to my friend John, Johnathan Rockman."
"Hi!" said John with much sarcasm.
"Nice to meet you John. I'm Jane and this is my friend Lara."
Jane pushed Lara right in front of her and almost into John. Sadly, John was more interested in Jane.
"Janey, is Alex here your boyfriend?"
"It's Jane and no we're just friends."
"Oh, I see. You're just friends with bene--"
"That's enough John!" yelled Alex.
John was laughing but Jane wasn't so happy.
"What did you just say?"
"I think you know. Plus I'm sure you would want to be something to this fine young man."
"Shut up you jerk!"
Jane grabbed Lara and walked into the theater. John was still laughing.
"How is that funny?"
"Do you want to be that girl's buddy?"
"I agree with Jane, you should shut up."

2010-05-01T18:33:00.000-04:00

Part 2- His Story

2010-04-27T18:58:00.002-04:00

I"m back with more story....sorry if it is boring!
"We're almost there."
"So! I'm working backstage you're the one auditioning!" yelled Johnathan.
"Can't you give me any advice or at least a good luck?" said Alex.
"No."
"You know, it took a lot to be able to get you to work backstage without even being a student here."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you great Alexander, NOT!"
"John!"
"Dude, you sound like a girl."
Suddenly, the car stopped and there was the school.
"The stage is this way." Alex grumbled.
As they walked for the door, John saw two young women getting out of a cab. Alex then called out,
"Jane! Lara! Over here!"
The women came running over with smiles on their faces.
"Do you know them?" whispered John.
"Yes, I do." Alex whipered right back.
Again, sorry if there is spelling errors!

My Story: Working With You

2010-04-25T17:47:00.002-04:00

I have decided to write my stories on my blog. I'm actually in the middle of writing one right now. It is called "Working With You." Here is the begining:
"Jane, wake up!" screamed Lara.
"Huh? Waht's going on?" whispered Jane.
"Ugh! Jane, auditoins are today and you have been wanting a lead role since three years ago! WAKE UP!"
Jane jumped out of her bed and immediately got changed. She picked up a cute pair of jeans and a plain, dark blue shirt.When she went to grab a hair tie, Lara said
"Leave your hair down, it brings out your eyes; your beautiful green eyes."
So Jane let her hair down and it well. I'm ready, she thought with a strong smile.
"You ready?"
"Yes I am."
They both went down and got in the cab and headed toward Juliard. Jane knew this was the day, the day she got her part. They had a new director named Julianne Margo. Jane didn't know the director, but it was much easier with a defferent director. If the didn't know each other, than auditions would be less pressure.
Hope you liked it and I will be back to write more hopefully soon. Sorry if there is a lot of spelling errors. Bye!!

Gotta Cheer Up!!!

2010-03-24T21:27:00.002-04:00

i dont get it.......i try sooo hard in school but i end up still messing up!!! blah.....dont have much to say but life stinks......it just keep gettin harder. i just wish things were easy, like the movies! the movies always have happy endings!! hmmm.......maybe should make a movie about my life.....at least then i would be able to make my own happy ending. See ya!!!
P.S. sorry if i made u sad.....think of a monkey dancing, it always cheers me up!!!

Life

2010-03-19T22:40:00.003-04:00

Hey it tis be me again!! Look...i have to make this short but I'll just say that life has been pretty crappy but i get through it. I just hate when u think it is all over but it comes back to haunt u. Sometimes things don't always happen the way i plan either but i still push on.....if u ever feel like this ur just experiencing life. I kno that some of my posts don't seem that important but i have my moments. bye!!

P.S. I have to say that today was a pretty good day!! :)

Being bored

2010-03-15T18:00:00.000-04:00

Well....nothing to do and pretty boring day. I want somethin big to happen to me.....but nothin will ever.....I also wish ppl would actually read this even if the would care less. I guess I'll always be the girl sittin at home waitin for a new show to come on and eatin a twinkie.......blah.....bye for now.
P.s. I did have a pretty good day just not the best. I had to specify. Bye!!!

High School......

2010-03-11T15:10:00.002-05:00

well........high school started in the fall of 2009 and now it is March 2010 and things have definitely changed. I lost a friend and started to lose myself.......but one day i'll kno. I'm only a freshman right now but you just wait till u see me as a senior!!!!!!!!!!! I cant wait!!!!!! I would say more but other stuff is a bit more personal than i want to get. Bye ppl!!!!!!!!!!!!

School is Almost Over!

2009-03-06T19:33:00.002-05:00

School is half-way over and I'm happy!I still have to go through the PSSA,but it is worth it!We our going to Waldameer this year.It is also my last year in middle school!Next year is high school and I'm excited.My school is also having a field day.After graduation,I'll feel like I'm already a freshman.My spring concert is coming up on May 12th 7:00 p.m.and my graduation is somewhere at the end of the year.Then,after all of that,it'll be summer!Well it is time for me to go!See you people!

P.S. Kali typed this,bye!

Kali's Been Published!

2009-02-14T22:47:00.002-05:00

This is Josh, signing on for Kali.

I just wanted to let everyone know that Kali entered a poetry competition, and she did well enough that her poem, "Silence," is going to be published.

If you cannot remember that one, I will re-post it here:

Silence
When I am driving
Silence comes
Three hearts beating
One heart not
One heart just stops
All you hear is silence
All you see is tears
When the rain falls
Silence comes

Well, that is all she would want me to tell you. Perhaps she'll be writing her own post to update soon.

7th Grade!

2007-10-19T23:45:00.000-04:00

I guess this grade is fun, but, also kinda hard. So, I think that as long as I don't fall asleep, I will get through school. There are mean teachers, and old teachers, and some nice ones! It's almost time for the Halloween dance at my school. I'll get to dress up for it, which is cool.

My friends are fine, and so am I. Hopefully this school year will be fine. See ya later, alligator.

Kali can write!!

2007-05-10T16:15:00.000-04:00

This is Josh, signing on for Kali, to post a few poems of hers.

Broken

When I sit
I just cry
thinking of
the broken heart
that just died
Thinking that
you are gone
Thinking that
you are…
Broken

Gone

All the things
that burn inside
just ell you
that you’re sad
You can’t stop
The pain inside
hurting, telling
you that you
are gone

Dead

Just sitting there
Nothing but sadness
taking over tears
just running down
your face the way
you know that
that person is
dead.

Death

The feeling
of hurt takes
over and tears
begin to fall
the sadness
running towards
you taking its
time Death cries
for others
but for loved
ones far and
near Death is
here

Silence

When I am driving
Silence comes
Three hearts beating
One heart not
One heart just stops
All you hear is silence
All you see is tears
When the rain falls
Silence comes

She hopes you like them all. Please leave her some comments.
The format of this post may change to five separate posts depending on Kali's preference.

Almost the End

2007-03-02T20:14:00.000-05:00

It's almost the end of school. I'm not gonna really miss any of the teachers I hate, but I will miss the ones that I like. I made, a few new freinds, over the school year, and since there's only one more nine weeks to go, I'll be a seventh grader soon, and 12 for real.

I'm gonna have new clothes and a new life.

Well, that's all for now.

I'll talk to you later peepskuls.

Bye!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2006-12-17T12:28:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas to one and all is something I didn't think I'd be saying on here. School is fine, but my...mind isn't. I've been so confused lately, and so angry too. I know it's supposed to be close to Christmas, but I'm not happy, or merry. I just ate a candy a few minutes ago. I feel like I'm stressed. My friends have been getting in fights with me, but we still get along most of the time.

I just want to wish my aunt a happy belated birthday. Happy Birthday Aunt Cindy!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

(and a Happy New Year)

School's In

2006-09-08T15:45:00.000-04:00

School is in again, and Mrs. Potts, my Pre-Algebra teacher, is already giving me weekend homework, and it's only the second weekend that we've had since school started. My favorite teacher is Mrs. Pyle, because she's really, really nice. My homeroom teacher is Mrs. Smith. I only have homework from her because I didn't finish my vocab words. Next week I'm going swimming for gym. I also sang in chorus this week. That's about it, because school is boring, but I do like it most of the time. See ya later, bye.

Kali

Life

2006-08-07T20:25:00.000-04:00

My life has been cool.I went camping and I am moving.That's all,wait I forgot something.Happy almost birthday Parker!See ya!

B-Days?

2006-07-14T22:00:00.000-04:00

My b-day is next weekon the 20th.I don't know what to say when there is a millon birthdays going on in July.So,happy b-day to people that have a birthday in July.My uncle's b-day is in July.Happy B-day Uncle Ricky!

PARTYS

2006-06-27T20:09:00.003-04:00

Last Friday my sister had a party. Then the next day I went to another party.(gradution party)At the gradution,I went swimming and jumped in the pool. This weekend I'm going to see my brother Josh at his camp and have some fun with him. So that's my life so far,bye.

Bit Of Summer

2006-06-12T21:20:00.000-04:00

Well,I had my pal over and my life's been boring. So this might be a short post,but I'm telling you to do something with your life instead of just sitting there.There is more to life then just watching TV.If you go out there you will have a life.

School's Out

2006-06-05T20:49:00.000-04:00

WOW! We only have two and a half days of school left! So far I went to a baseball game and on this coming Wensday I will be having my graduation from the Elementary School to the Middle School at the Central Elementary School Gymnasium. I had a great year this year, and there were so many friends of mine that I hope will have a great summer. The worst thing is, even though school is out in less then three days, we're still learning!! I think that Mr. D. is crazy (Mr. D. is my teacher). And I hope all of you have a good summer too. My next posts shouldn't be as spread apart as my last few posts have been.
That's All,
Kali says publish

McKeever Days

2006-02-21T21:33:00.000-05:00

Last Wednesday through Friday I went to McKeever. I really liked when we found time capsule! I also liked the food. I have to go now,bye.

New Year's Eve

2006-01-01T02:00:00.000-05:00

Today I went to my aunt's house. We played a game. I don't know what the game was called. I know how to play. You turn off all the lights,then you blind fold someone,and the blind folded person has to catch the others. Then we went to my uncle's house. We played hide-and-go-seek.After that we watched the ball drop.I got to go,bye.

Bad Day

2005-12-30T21:29:00.000-05:00

Today I went to the doctor's. The doctor said I might have a bad throat. I hope I don't have a bad throat. I went to pick up my sisters also. Then I went home and was bored all day. Got to go, bye.